i groaned and ignored them, i didn't have time to read them knowing it would say "u okay, answer me, mia, what happened, call me" they know i sleep at 10 and yet they're calling and texting me at midnight. after the whole group chat situation, i cried myself to sleep at 5pm, WHO DOES THAT? me.
i know i should've talked to someone about it, the only person i would talk to would be robert. he was there for me when i witnessed mattia kiss robert and he understands me. i know i have alessya and julia but robert knew more than alessya and julia. they're my best friends and all but robert just knows how to calm me down and tell me to move on in a nice way.
i opened tiktok and stayed there, i decided to make a few tiktoks to old sounds and post them. i knew one of my friends would be awake, especially at this time. alessya always gets up in the middle of the night and stays on her phone then passes out randomly.
i opened instagram and saw mattia posted, oh lord.
polybioh
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liked by alescameraroll and others polybioh not this one saying i was a bad influence on my ex 😐 view all 1,739 comments
alescameraroll U WERE AND STILL ARE ↳polybioh I AM NOT
hirokaiysen did alessya lie tho? no liked by alescameraroll
he wasn't a bad influence, he just man i don't even know anymore. he broke up with me causing me to make my way to weed but i just wanted the pain to go away and it did but now i'm kind of stopping and the pain is still here. why do i even bother with mattia, he has a new girl and clearly wants her and not me. since i can't sleep, might as well shower.
i changed into black sweatpants and a black hoodie, i didn't feel like trying at all. i went downstairs and made breakfast, bowl of cereal with apple juice, an everyday breakfast meal. i wonder what life would've been like if i was with mattia, would i be this close with hector, would i be asleep in his arms like why did he have to kiss her. i forgive him, of course i forgive him cause i fucking love him and although i say i hate him, i could never hate the person i deeply and genuinely loved.
