SOLUM

3.1

.
.
.

I was breathless when the door finally shut behind me, my eyes were shut tight as my legs quickly gave away from underneath me and I sank to the floor, my back resting against the wall tiresomely... if someone would've asked me that morning, whether I believed I'd ever truly would feel anything for anyone other than Jimin, I would've said no, whilst practically laying there on the floor, I still wanted to say "No".

The only problem was the loud thumping in my chest that didn't seem to wanna settle down at any point in the near future.

As I opened my eyes, the sight before me was blurry from unshed tears... but what truly made me bite back a gasp was the dreadful sight of grey, muddy colours poured over the office's interior. The rich wooden desk was just a dark silhouette, the walls monochromatic and dull again... it made my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach.

The lunch that was inside me suddenly felt bad and I rushed outside, not even bothering to explain myself to either Hoseok or this stranger, who were still talking to one another, I just fled past them on shaky legs... I somehow managed to get myself to the bathroom, throw myself onto the floor beside the toilet, just before all of my belly's content came out of my mouth, my body hurling because of the pain. My lips felt oddly warm, my body was drained of any energy and all I could focus on was how nauseous I felt in that moment.

After having flushed the toilet, almost feeling worse by seeing the contents swirl around. I, at some point, made my way out to the conjoined sinks, rinsing my mouth and cleaning my hands, before I slumped down onto the tiled floor, just sitting there. I didn't know for how long I was stuck there in the same position, but thankfully no one had come inside at any point. I would probably not have been able to explain myself if someone asked me what had happened.

But then I heard a small squeak which undeniably belonged to the door and when I turned my head in its direction, I was met with the sight of Seokjin standing in the opening. His vision settled onto my figure and from somewhere in the corner of my eye, I wasn't even sure if he was real or not at that point, he came closer to me... he probably said something as well, but my ears were deaf, as if something had clogged them up.

"Yoongi, Yoongi honey?!" a faint sound came from my left and I could see that he was physically moving his lips, but my head just wasn't processing any of it. His arms came around to embrace me and I let my head fall onto his broad shoulders, my eyes closing.

"Jin... I need... I need to tell you something" I mumbled, albeit I couldn't even hear my own voice, yet I could feel how his limbs tensed around me, his hold getting looser before he leaned back to study me quizzically... I had to do it. I couldn't live with myself any longer, he needed to hear it from me... at least first.

His gray figure had furrowed eyebrows and as I felt his hand come up to my face, his thumb stroking away a tear that had rolled down my cheek, he nodded meekly to my words... his mouth making the movements of "Okay" as he sat down fully beside me.

"What is it that is weighing on you?" my best friend questioned... and I couldn't help but to tear up at the thought of him getting mad at me... because I knew him and he was not someone who took bad news well, not when it was something that could've been avoided altogether. I didn't wanna lose my longest lasting friend... but I couldn't not tell him, the thought of trying to push more lies further down his, or anyone else's, throat was eating me up from the inside out.

"I-I... I know you're gonna be angry, especially since it's something so close to you... b-but... my..." I began and he furrowed his eyebrows in question upon hearing my words, probably not expecting anything too bad.

"I-I... I didn't... couldn't... tell y-you the truth a-about my... p-pai...p-pairing" I continued with and I could feel how the hand on my back slowly stopped rubbing comforting circles... but I was unable to look up, to see his reaction or maybe it was just my shaking body preventing me from doing so.

"He... he's alive... but... b-but he never chose me and I was left alone... I-I'm... I'm telling you this because he just spoke to me" I finished, still keeping my head facing my lap, warm droplets rolling down my cheeks and I heard some rustling, the moving of a body and before I knew it... I looked up to see Seokjin walking out of the bathroom.

He didn't say a single word, he just straight up left.

I saw how the bathroom door began closing behind him, but I never saw it shut as my vision got overtaken by tears and I buried my face into my knees, sobbing into my dress-pants.

.
.
.