Out a Heartbeat (In a Heartbeat)

02 - Offbeat

Jonathan is ignored for liking boys, obviously. Now that some know our story, he'll bear the brunt of being popular. Maybe it'll come my way too, but I'm used to being bullied with my small group.

Alice gets up from her chair. We hadn't taken our backpacks off because there wasn't enough time; otherwise, the teacher would see us sneaking in. I watch her walk over to Jonathan, who was frozen.

"J-Jonathan..." the girl stammers, thinking about what to say to her best friend.

I stand up and approach them. Alice puts her hand on Jonathan's left shoulder, and I on the right, as people continue leaving the classroom.

"Look, Jonathan, I--"

"No, no. It's okay," Jonathan interrupts his friend.

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

Jonathan leaves the room. It's just Alice and me left. Silence fills the space until she breaks it, all mad.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Huh?"

"Why didn't you try to help Jonathan?"

"What d-did you want me to say?"

"Look, Shaman, I--"

"It's Sherwin!"

"Whatever, hot-head!" She steps closer to me. "If you harm Jonathan in any way, you'll have to deal with me, got it?"

I start sweating.

"JONATHAN!!!!! WAIT FOR ME, SWEETIE!" Alice shouts, running out of the room.

I never thought Jonathan's friend would make me feel like a monster. It's not that I wanted to stay silent, but I'm sure I'd say something stupid if I opened my mouth, and then I'd get beaten up by those two giants.

TIME SKIP

I'm in the middle of art class and I can't stop thinking about how stupid I was to stay quiet. Jonathan must be feeling disgusting in geography class.

Our classes are separated most of the time; I hate this damn system.

"Sherwin!"

I'm a terrible company for him. I'm worthless anyway. He probably thinks I don't care about his feelings. It's tough losing friends because they don't accept who you really are...

Will Jonathan just, like, pick anyone who truly cares about him? I mean, I care a lot about him, but he probably doesn't know that. Not to mention, the guy is the high school prodigy, so any boy he wants, he'll get, right? If I had those blue eyes, that height, that voice--

"SHERWIN!"

I snap awake and widen my eyes.

"Sherwin, can I borrow your eraser?" Parlan says.

"Oh, uh, sure! Here you go."

Parlan is a friend of mine. He sits at the same desk as me with two other girls; together, we're a tight group.

I try to hand the eraser to the kid, but it drops on the floor because I couldn't stop trembling.

"Oops!" Parlan exclaims, bending down to pick it up. "It shouldn't have gone far, right?"

Without even hearing what Parlan said, I drift off into daydreams, because the boy's mouth glows, sparking my involuntary pre-adolescent thoughts. His hair is beautiful too.

My face starts heating up, and I turn red.

"Dude, I'm not finding the eraser here!"

He returns to his chair.

"Oh, uh, it's okay... W-we can look after class, then!" I smile, desperate and sweating.

"Wait! I think I see it!" Parlan says, going back under the table. "If it's not your eraser, we can ask another group, right? It's incredible how none of us four have such a simple supply. What a pain."

Again, his mouth stands out on his face. Is this paradise? If so, I want to die right now. And giving him kisses.

Without thinking, I pull Parlan's shirt, hold his neck, and kiss him gently. The whole classroom seems shocked.

"Kiss me again, Sherwin! Kiss me again!"

I widen my eyes. WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO?

"Go, Sherwin!!! Kiss my mouth!!! With tongue, go!!!"

He begs me while shaking his hair; everyone watches us, scared, not understanding anything and with malicious glances. I'm a bumpkin and have no consideration for poor Jonathan. While I'm having a ball in the classroom, he's there crying, suffering.

"SHERWIN!" Parlan shouts, making me throw myself back in the chair's backrest with a fright; my heart races. "The eraser, man! I've been asking for ages!"

Breathing heavily, I look at the eraser in my hand and then around. The eraser never fell on the ground, I never kissed Parlan's mouth, and everyone is doing their activities normally. No one is looking at me or judging me. Everything that just happened was actually the product of my vivid imagination.

"Sher-- Ah, you know what?!! Forget it!" Parlan huffs as he rolls his eyes, getting up from his desk and going to borrow an eraser from anyone else.

I have a look of... well, I look like a fool.