L. Ackerman | 001

Thank You

You walked into Erwin's office with a bright smile on your face. It's been a while since you've been here and you've missed it so much. He stood up, holding his hand out to you but you pushed it aside and jumped up into Erwin's arms and wrapped yours around him, embracing him in a warm hug. See, Erwin was a good, good friend of yours and you've known each other for over ten years now and it's been a while since you've gotten to see him, you've just been sending letters. Erwin briefly returned the hug before he cleared his throat, signally for you to pull away. You smiled before you sat in front of Erwin and folded your legs. You understood this was a serious matter, you were discussing your return to the Survey Corps after being gone for five years. 

"Captain L/n, are you sure you want to return here? You've lost many while fighting this battle and Levi, Hange, and I have seen, first hand, how it affected you. I don't need that happening to you again, Y/n.", Erwin explained, expression full of concern. He was right, being here took a heavy toll on your mind, body, and soul and it was hard to recover from that but you managed to do so. You knew you were ready for this job again and you knew you wouldn't allow it to break you again.

You ran to Levi's office and there he was sitting at his desk, half asleep and filling out boring paper work. Slamming the door shut got his attention and his snapped up to find you on the floor with your back against the door. You were holding yourself tightly and shaking, eyes so wide they were almost popping out of their sockets. You had been bawling and the only people you truly trust is Hange, Levi, and Erwin. 

"The hell is wrong with you?", Levi asked as he abruptly stood up from his desk and made his way over to you, kneeling down to meet your view. You could see he had a look of distress on his face while he watched you swat the air around you. You were seeing titans all around you, left and right as they tore your boyfriend apart limb by limb. It was a nightmare you couldn't get away from. Levi grabbed your arms before you had to chance to accidentally hit him and he held them against the door.

You vigorously shook your head back and forth, shutting your eyes and pleaded out, "Get them away from me, Levi, please. They keep coming back. Kill them all for me. Please, help me Levi." You opened your eyes to see Levi with a confused look on his face. 

"I wish I could, Y/n. You know I would for you but you need to calm down for me, okay? Can you do that?", Levi asked as you nodded your head feeling him release your hands. You watched him as he began to stand but you grabbed onto his arm, keeping him from leaving. 

"I'm just getting you some water, Y/n.", He harshly expressed as he gently removed your hand from his arm. You bring your knees to your chest in attempt to calm your breathing and it was working a bit, you noticed your chest wasn't hurting as much. Levi was one of the only people who understood this kind of pain. You knew he could help you in some way, no matter how cold he seemed to be, he cared. You watched him as he poured you some fresh water in cup, bringing it back to you and placing it in your hand.

You grabbed the cup, taking a small sip, "Levi, I keep having these haunting nightmares of these abnormals capturing Dante. They wouldn't even harm me, they would just make me watch over and over.", You sat the cup down beside you as your eyes welled up with tears. You were slowly breaking down and you didn't know how to stop it. Levi grabbed a handkerchief from his desk and placed it in the palm of your hand, curling your fingers around it. He wasn't big on showing emotion of affection but it was in the little things he did for others and you admired that. 

"Shit will only get worse the more you try to fight them. Believe me, I've been there many damn times. It's nothing to do with the physical, it's all mental, Y/n. It'll get better, I promise.", Levi said as you listened closely. Maybe he was right. In retaliation to these terrors, you would over work yourself; exercising more, eating let, sleeping less, and taking on more paper work without realizing how affected you in other ways.