BILLIE EILISH IMAGINES

Regrets

You hurriedly pack all of your stuff, your eyes was blurry due to the tears clouding and waiting to fall. You refuse to cry. All this time everything was a lie.

She didn't love you. She never did.

You gave all of you to her, dropped everyone for her, followed her every word. You loved her. Too much.

But now it's time to end it all. You finally snapped, you didn't deserve this. How she treated you, how worthless she made you feel.

Flashback
Moments before.

"SHE'S JUST MY FRIEND! WHY CAN'T I BE AFFECTIONATE WITH MY FRIEND?!"
Billie screamed and threw her phone barely missing you.

"So you kiss friend now? You send inappropriate pictures to your friend? You hang out with your friend and leave your girlfriend here all worried for you?"

"GOD! YOU'RE SO FUCKING DIFFICULT!"

"So what? I have every right to be mad at you! This isn't the first time i caught you too, and you keep on fooling me. Why can't you just say it to my face?" your voice fading.

"Say what?" she sarcastically shot back.

"That you don't love me! That you only used me to love you, to care for you!"

"You're right, i don't love you. Never did. You were so desperate for me and my attention, at first it was fun but seeing you like this is disgusting."

"There is it. The truth. I really loved you Billie, all those kisses, all those hugs and all those meaningless sex. They meant everything to me. I meant every word and every action. Guess i overdid it huh."
She stood silent watching you bawl your eyes out.

"All those nights, when you were gone, i sit here praying that you're okay. But you come home reeking of alcohol and... Her"

"I didn't know why I did to you Billie, or where did I go wrong but treating me like trash, embarrassing me in front of a whole crowd, making me feel so ugly. I didn't deserve that."

"If you're not so desperate for love maybe this wouldn't have happened. But you are, clinging on to me, kissing me in public. It was embarrassing, why do you do this to yourself? Get better."

You're speechless. She blamed you. She blamed you for loving her too much. Why?
Your head fell and your body was raked with sobs, nodding slightly you stood up and went into your shared room.

Loving her was one of your greatest regret. You regret talking to her when she was sobbing in that bar, you regret taking care of her even if she's mean and cold to you, you regret staying up late just to wait for her.

You really need to get better.