Entanglement [COMPLETED✔]

7

Alex

The days were filled by a tension that made me rethink going home after work, that made me pause at the threshold of the door each day. 

We were entering October, the warm weather replaced by a cold one. Thanks to that, I didn't get any more glimpses of what I wasn't supposed to see, I didn't even hear a moan out of Laura. Not that I was listening for them at night…

Though, avoiding her didn't stop my acts, it didn't stop my mind from constantly flashing with pictures of her. Of Laura splayed across her bed, of the glint between her legs. It didn't stop me from imagining her green eyes flickering in ecstasy as I pushed two fingers in her, of making her cum all over my face and cock. 

And that wasn't even the extent of how I wanted her, why I wanted her. Fuck no. 

I wanted her next to me in bed every night, I wanted her smiling and laughing at my jokes, I wanted her tugging me close at night. I wanted her to tell me what she thought and what she liked, I needed to know her all. All of her. 

It wasn't lust, it wasn't just a quick fuck to get her off my system. No, it was a deep need, it was an emotion that had grown to cover every inch of my body. It was something that was swallowing me whole ever since I saw her but something I had pushed and named after something else because of her mother. 

And the thing was that I couldn't feel any of that, couldn't accept those feelings because one, I was too damn old for her and two, it was wrong.

So I pushed it away, all of it. Making myself think nothing more about her, to feel a sort of strangeness towards her. 

If Laura noticed, she didn't come up to me. Fuck no, she only grinned at me every morning, flaunting herself infront of me. Making me all sorts of flustered, putting me on edge every single time, my own will power to control myself diminishing. 

Trying to get other woman didn't even work, fuck I could barely even go up to one and those who did approach me, I turned them down the moment I started comparing them to Laura. 

None of them could measure up to her, to her green eyes or sly smirk, to the way her forehead wrinkled in concentration or how she would bite her lip.

And each night, she would slither into my mind. Her hands touching my chest, fingers running down my stomach, trailing, a grin on her features as she kissed me. Straddling me, pushing her hips with mine, her breath hot and heavy against my ear.

In my dreams she could dry hump me until she came, her pussy grinding against my leg, moaning as quietly as she could. 

Those were all my dreams, a creation of what I wanted to be real. What could never be real because there was no way I would ever fuck her. 

And in the mornings, I would wake up aching to feel her. My hand a sore comparison to what I wanted. 

But that was all I could do, use my hand, keep away from her. Wait for her to finish school and move out, finally have the initiative to find someone else, to get married, to at least try and start a family. 

Thought, could I? 

I couldn't hold onto Martha, couldn't make her fall in love with me even after months, years of pursuing her. And even before her, I had dated, all of them ending without more than just lust. 

Was I not lovable?

If I wasn't, there was no way Laura could want more. And the more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself it was just teenage hormones, that she was just seeing what she liked. It was nothing more, just lust.