Laura
3 years later…
"Stay still little one," I whispered to the baby who I had tried sitting up for the last five minutes. A baby who kept falling over when he twisted to see his mother, who kept throwing his little fist around when she wouldn't pick him up.
But this time, the mother was behind me. This time, the little boy didn't move, only followed me with his huge brown eyes as I stepped away. Far enough to get into position but close enough to catch him if he fell.
Falling to my knees, the hardwood floor dug into my knees as I tilted my camera, crouching to get the best picture. Making faces and gestures to the baby, anything to get him to look at me, to give me a goofy smile. To show me his toothless, crooked smile. To get those chocolate eyes to sparkle, to capture the moment.
The happiness.
He did so, lips wide and hands fisted at his side. My finger pressing down on the button of the camera, snapping picture after picture. Moving around to get different angles, his eyes on me as I did so, breathing out a sigh after I knew I had enough film for the mother to choose from.
"Okay. That's it," I said as I looked down at the last picture. My heart squeezing as I saw the beaming smile, as I saw the baby who was weeks old.
I felt nostalgic. I felt a deep pit feeling in my stomach that made me grip my camera tighter, my eyes watering slightly because I wanted that. I wanted a baby in my arms, to hug them close to me not for seconds but for hours. I wanted a baby that was a mix of Alex and me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my client pick up her son. Her grin wide as she pecked his forehead, the boy fidgeting in her arms.
I swear I wanted that and so did Alex but it was complicated.
The past three years had been good, not great but good. I had graduated from college with a major in business and a minor in photography, I had started my own business and maybe because of that we didn't have a child yet.
Maybe it was because I spent more time in the studio that my father gifted me than the house but that would be a lie.
Alura Photography was actually a ten minute walk from home. I could easily come and go as I pleased because I was the boss, I could not work but I decided to come here everyday. I decided to spend my hours here because this was my happy place.
These four walls held reminders of who I was, what I had done and why I was supposed to keep going.
"Thank you so much," the woman said, snapping me away from my thoughts. Bringing me back to what I was doing or was supposed to do.
Standing up, I brushed off my shirt, smiling at her and the little boy who was now moving his head from side to side. Those big brown eyes wide as he took in the large pictures on my walls, close up pictures of Alex but he didn't know that.
"Do you want to hold him?" The mother asked as she caught onto me.
"Can I?" I took a step closer, dropping the camera on one of the stools that people sat in.
She nodded, holding up her little boy. His arms stretched wide as I took him from her, his eyes meeting mine as I hugged him close to my body. Cradling him, that sweet baby smell making my stomach knot.
Looking down at him, I had to fight the urge to steal him from her. To keep him.
Every single time I held a baby, all I could think of was my child. Of the little girl I had lost. Of how she would look like now if I hadn't been hit by a car, if I had just listened to Alex rather than assumed.
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Entanglement [COMPLETED✔]
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