𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 | 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐈𝐍

𝐗𝐕𝐈

jeno wasn't saying this was really planned, but if it was planned, everything was going well. though, he didn't quite understand why just yet. he had met jaemin along with the rest of their friend group formally as renjun's boyfriend. all went well, jaemin was overall a chill person to hangout with, kinda weird too.

despite everything going well, jeno couldn't help but notice it was all in renjun's favor. he had the dream life anyone here desired to have. his career was going well and not only did he have a boyfriend, but his boyfriend got along well with his friends. what did renjun have to worry about? he no longer attended those degrading meetings that compared you to the other successful workers in the building.

jeno felt like he was pressured to be just as good as renjun. and of course that was jeno's childhood best friend, you would think he'd be able to tell him but he couldn't. it was his biggest insecurity that hurt him too much. he wasn't going to tell renjun just for it to hurt his ego even more.

it's been his dream ever since he was small. it was his all he had to work towards. you could say he was envious and his anger issues didn't make it any better. jeno wasn't too mad at renjun, he couldn't be. he couldn't blame the older for his own inferiority.

jeno and renjun used to always have similar issues with writing. and to know that you weren't the only one struggling, that was best comfort that you could get. it was like when jeno wouldn't do his homework back in high school. when he found out renjun didn't do it either, he was able to relax.

he remembered the fear that had struck him the day he noticed renjun's attentive actions when he had started writing his book. he felt pressured, nervous, and confused. he was going to just start writing something, anything to look busy. but it only made him feel like he was falling deeper and deeper into failure.

renjun had taken something so precious away from him and it hurt. especially from his best friend. but it wasn't his fault at all, right? so many thoughts roamed the male's mind as he sat in their break room after his encounter with the couple.

like he had said before, he didn't plan for him and jaemin to get along so well. but the dark thoughts that continued to consume his mind told him that this was all working in his favor. of course it would. this just means he would still get to hangout with renjun regardless of his relationship with jaemin because he, too, was his friend. that had to be it, that had to be what his thoughts were getting at. he had nothing to worry about.

"jeno?"

jeno's body jolted just a little too hard at the sudden mention of his name. he could have sworn he was alone. he looked around to see who called him and met eyes with yuta, who he shared an office with once.

"what are you thinking about?" he asked, sitting beside him.

"nothing, i was just leav—"

"you know something that i don't?" yuta eyed the younger evilly. jeno scoot away from him before replying.

"what are you even talking about?" he didn't know what yuta was trying to get out of him, but it wasn't working.

"don't be scared, i don't bite, jeno." yuta said scooting closer, "are they dating? jaemin and renjun?" jeno sighed rolling his eyes. of course that's what yuta wanted to know, this was the side of yuta that jeno knew best. standing up, jeno fixed his collared shirt.

"of course they aren't, yuta. you're being way too nosy again." and with that jeno left. leaving yuta dumbfounded.

"i just saw him leave, did you get anything?" doyoung asked coming into the break room. yuta just shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose before standing.

"of course not. i'm not doing this anymore, i don't care."

—

jeno was on his way back to his office, ready to face haechan's complaining, and renjun working. and just like earlier, he bumped into jaemin. jeno was just going to apologize and go his separate way, but jaemin stopped him before he could leave.

"wait, have you seen mark? he was just complaining to me about how haechan keeps giving him drafts that aren't even finished." jeno chuckled, shaking his head.

"sorry, i haven't seen mr. lee in a while actually." jeno replied. and then those thoughts came rushing through his mind again, and this time jeno made sure to really listen to them. that left jeno back to those demanding voices. it was like they were eating at him and it was growing annoying.

"alright, let me know if you do." jaemin said.

"i will. i also have some drafts for the editors for our meeting on friday, would you mind working with me?" jeno asked softly.

"of course! just give them to me anytime this week and i'll take care of everything." jaemin left after giving jeno a bright smile.

after some time, everything clicked. jeno didn't know what he was doing but he just let his feelings get to his head and let his head control everything. he wasn't really thinking logically and it was hard to when he was just so tired.

anytime jeno would try to work his way through these thoughts and frustrations, he would just get angry. he and his friends knew this fact very well. jeno knew they always supported him while giving him his space, but this was different.

jeno didn't understand why he was so heartbroken by the fact that renjun took away his pride and happiness unknowingly, though his thoughts continued to pry into his head. controlling him to the point where he was now thinking with his feelings. and he was only feeling one thing now, and that was anger.