𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 | 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐈𝐍

𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐈

jaemin pulled up to renjun's apartment but instead of getting out, the two just sat in silence. the situation was all too familiar, and renjun missed it. everything used to be so simple before jeno messed everything up, before jungwoo joined the company. now their minds were elsewhere, but in the back of their minds they knew that they truly missed this. being together.

"this brings make memories, huh?" jaemin smiled.

renjun smiled too, "it used to be so simple then. i don't know what happened." renjun thought aloud. jaemin looked over to meet his gaze, and he saw that he was thinking the same thing too. they didn't know whether to make a move or to stay silent.

"jeno happened," jaemin chuckled dryly, "you've been so caught up with jungwoo as well. you and ten." renjun knew jaemin was right, he had been a little too caught up with the whole jungwoo situation but it was for a good cause.

"i was just looking out for myself. i mean...who knows what else jeno has up his sleeve? he could be trying to get me fired." jaemin shrugged.

"he could be," renjun looked at the younger in suspicion," but he might not be. who cares? he can't do too much." jaemin gently took the older's hand, rubbing his thumb over his birthmark. renjun was tense, though he just sat back and watched the younger.

"i'm glad you can still talk to me about these things...you know, with everything that happened you're still so honest with me. i..uh..really admire that about you." jaemin cut his eyes up to meet the older's gaze. renjun looked away and retracted his hand. he didn't want to give in so easily, i mean everything still hurt and he knew if he fell for jaemin's charms again, he would give in instantly.

"if i'm being honest," renjun sighed. he couldn't believe he was going to voice out his thoughts, "i'm really disappointed jeno got to kiss you...before i did." he exhaled, keeping his gaze towards the sidewalk outside.

"don't worry about him anymore, okay? that kiss meant nothing to me so let's just pretend it never happened."

"i wish i could, jaemin. i've tried so hard but i can't help it. it happened right before my eyes!" renjun tugged at his hair, "if i could erase the image from my mind, maybe it would be a little less difficult to deal with. but every time i look at you, jaemin, it hurts to know his lips have been there before mine."

"renjun, please don't—"

"not to mention what just happened back there with yuta? if you weren't there he could've...he just wouldn't get off of me..." renjun didn't know what came over him, he was never the type to talk about his feelings like this. especially not to jaemin.

he felt himself feeling exactly the way he did the day of the incident and he couldn't help but cry. he was quick to wipe his tears, not wanting to show the younger that weak side of him. but the tears wouldn't stop falling.

"please, don't cry," jaemin's eyes widened, full of concern as he saw renjun so upset yet again. he hated it more than anything. quickly, he reached over to cup the older's face, wiping his tears away. "renjun, look me..." he wasn't sure what he was planning to do, but he let his feelings take over. renjun looked at the younger and before he could even blink, he felt their lips connect.

without thinking, renjun shut his eyes and kissed back. his hand rested on jaemin's shoulder, while the  jaemin's large hand gently held his jaw. it wasn't too heated or rough, but sweet and gentle. renjun could tell he was being careful not to hurt him yet he was still showing all his love for him through his actions. jaemin just wanted that moment to last forever, even though the kiss was slow, felt as if it ended so quickly. in a swift motion, renjun pulled away covering his lips in pure shock of the situation.

"i shouldn't have done that..."

jaemin felt a little sad after hearing that but he understood renjun was still suffering from what happened. and like he had said before, he would be patient and wait for him no matter how long it would take. " 'm sorry..." the younger watched as renjun tried to collect himself, being in such a flustered state. he then took off his seatbelt and made his way out.

"thank you for...helping me and taking me home." he said quickly before shutting the door and scurrying inside his apartment.

"welcome..." jaemin sighed, shifting the gear to drive as he pulled out of the complex.

—

renjun was overwhelmed with so many emotions. his hands were shaking as he struggled to put the key into his apartment doorknob. his face was still flushed red after the kiss, his lips swollen along with his eyes from crying.

"renjun?"renjun gasped embarrassingly loud, turning towards the person who called him.

"sorry...can i talk to you?"

renjun had no words. he just stared at the male before him, trying to process what was going on along with what he had just asked of him. he was just so caught up with what happened at the club with yuta, the kiss, and his feelings has for jaemin. this was the last person he wanted to see and talk to, at that very moment especially.

"j-jeno...i can't right now. please." renjun shook his head, shutting his eyes as he turned back to open his door.

"please! renjun...just five minutes." jeno had come a little closer now, he was able to see renjun's disheveled state and the fact that his hands were shaking.

"f-fine, we can...we can talk. but only five minutes." renjun led jeno into his apartment. he couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with the younger, the pain of the betrayal was still there. jeno spoke up after the two sat down on the couch with some distance between them.

"i know you hate me and i understand that completely. i also know that you probably won't forgive me and that what we had will never be the same. but i came here to apologize because that's the least i can do," jeno said, "i owe it to you. if i could take back what i did, i would. i was jealous of your success and i let my feelings control me. i'm really sorry and i just wanted you to know that. not for you to forgive me, not for us to be friends again, but because i still care about you."

the older just kept his focus at his feet. nothing changed with the way he was feeling. it was the same thing as before except he was overwhelmed even more. probably more surprised now. he never had anything to say to jeno let alone after he said all of this? what could he say? what could he do?

"i appreciate your apology, jeno. i really do. you hurt me so much...i can't even look at you in the eye with that same respect that i had for you before. i can't look at jaemin the same either, not after seeing...that."

"i get it...thank you for listening to me but, that's not all i wanted to talk to you about."