𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 | 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐈𝐍

𝐗𝐋𝐈𝐕

renjun walked into yuta and doyoung's shared office with his head held high. the two were in the middle of a conversation but renjun wasn't going to wait. he was tired of waiting on people and it got him nowhere. so he cleared his throat, leaning on the door frame.

"what are you doing here, renjun?" doyoung asked but he was ignored.

"yuta, i would like to speak with you." renjun smiled sarcastically. it was clear to renjun that yuta was shaking in his boots as he stood to his feet and followed him out. renjun brought them to his office that was empty because haechan knew this was part of his plan. "don't be scared, yuta. i'm not here to attack you." renjun sat down at his desk. his words were sincere but his expression said otherwise. yuta was shaking and sweating so much he couldn't even speak so he just nodded.

"i think you know why i called you in here. i heard and saw everything. not only did i see the clip doyoung filmed, but i saw security footage of the whole thing. from when jaemin walked into the bar to when he walked out." yuta's eyed widened. he was surprised renjun went that deep into the situation to get the security footage.

"i came here to talk to you and give you a chance to explain yourself," renjun wanted to keep yuta scared and wondering what he was gonna do next, "you're lucky. jeno was about to turn you both in yesterday, but i stopped him so i could talk to you first."

"you shouldn't have. i appreciate it, renjun. i really do, but i'm a bystander of a crime. i let doyoung do that when i could have stopped him. why did you stop jeno from giving me what i deserve?"

"you didn't drug jaemin so i don't have as much anger for you compared to doyoung. in that footage i was surprised you let him do that to jaemin because i know you aren't the type to do something like that," renjun felt himself get nervous as he spoke, "but i also saw some feelings...that i didn't know that you had." yuta looked away. he couldn't face renjun after what he did.

"i—" yuta didn't know whether to say sorry or not. would it really mean anything now? renjun obviously saw that yuta had some hidden feelings for jaemin in that footage and yuta felt himself getting emotional at the thought of what happened that night.

"it's okay, don't apologize for being in love, yuta. there's nothing wrong with that. i just want to know why? why did you let doyoung do that to jaemin? not only was it wrong, but you obviously care for him too."

yuta looked around before he leaned closer to renjun, "you can't tell him i'm telling you this, he'll kill me if he finds out i did." renjun was scared now. he took that fact literally because who knows what else doyoung is capable of? "he threatened me. my career. he was going to set me up and make me look like i got into the department because i was dating someone higher in rank. he already got dirt on me that isn't even true, he's just been waiting until i slip up to ruin me. i'd lose everything if i didn't do what he wanted." yuta's voice broke.

"so you obviously went through with it, continue."

"i still fought against it but it was too risky. he knew how i felt about jaemin so instead of just drugging him and making him look like a drunk, he told me to kiss him. he said it would hurt you even more and it could work out in my favor," yuta thought he was pathetic for crying so he quickly wiped his tears away, "i don't understand how someone could want to hurt you that terribly, i didn't care how much i loved jaemin it was just wrong. this is where i'm wrong, renjun. i was too lovestruck to think about it, so i did it anyways and i am so selfish for that." renjun watched sadly as yuta struggled to hold himself together.

"it's okay to cry, don't be afraid to show your emotions. not in front of me." renjun felt bad for yuta, he knows how it feels to love someone who doesn't love you back and he knows how it feels to just hate yourself for being so selfish. "why does doyoung hate me so much?" he thought aloud.

"ever since he heard you and jaemin were hanging out, he got annoyed. when you published your book it stemmed from there. he's jealous of your success, renjun. he thinks you only published a book because you're close with an editor. he tried to spread rumors like that to johnny. i agreed with him only because i was jealous of your relationship. jaemin caught us that day so it never spread throughout the office." renjun knew that was true because he remembered jaemin had mentioned that back at the hospital.

"thank you for being so honest with me, yuta. especially with all that you faced and the threats you're still facing, you're so strong for that and you aren't alone. i came here because i just knew you had to be hurting. i know how it feels, yuta. to feel like you're selfish, like you're alone, to love someone who doesn't love you back, and to feel so scared. i'm here for you." renjun walked over to yuta and brought him into his embrace. he let yuta cry on his shoulders and he just knew that this was all pent up and hidden for a while.

"after everything i did to you? you're too kind to me...i-i don't deserve this...i should be thanking you and apologizing and—"

"yuta," renjun pulled away from the hug and stared up into yuta's sad and regretful eyes with a comforting smile, "everyone is worthy of love and everyone makes mistakes. you're only human so don't beat yourself up for these things."