𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 | 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐈𝐍

𝐗

fear was the worst type of feeling for anything. it made you feel vulnerable like you just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. that's exactly what renjun wanted as he walked into the office that morning. yeah he was nervous about his book, but he was more scared of people finding out that he spent the night with his manuscript editor. it wasn't anything weird but people might think they did more.

"renjun?" renjun looked around until he met eyes with jeno, "why are you so tense?" he asked as the two boarded the elevator.

"am i really that tense?" renjun whispered.

"yeah, like you have a stick up your ass."

renjun rolled his eyes. he figured telling jeno wouldn't be much of a big deal since they're friends and they've known each other since middle school. plus, he had to tell somebody about the other day. he was obviously bothered by the fact that people could find out.

"jeno, i need to talk to you." renjun sighed. jeno just nodded slowly as the older took jeno into the bathroom. when they got inside, renjun locked the door and began checking the stalls to see if anyone was there.

"renjun, what the hell? are you being followed or something?"

"no, jeno. just listen," renjun gulped, "i spent the night at mr. na's house on friday." renjun pressed his lips into a thin line, regretting his words. judging by jeno's expression, he clearly thought he was talking about something else.

"not like that! i mean he brought me over to watch a movie and just relax since i've been stressed out lately. i just slept in a different bedroom and he took me home the next morning." jeno's mouth formed an 'o' as he nodded.

"so you're scared people are going to find out and think somethings going on between you two?"

"yes! exactly. i just had to get it off my chest. my book will be published in a couple of weeks and i don't need any distractions." renjun sighed running his hand through his hair.

"that's alright. it's no one's business anyway." jeno said and renjun nodded as he left to go back to work.

jeno kept his mouth shut about renjun spending the night with mr. na. he believed the older when he said that they didn't sleep together, but he still thought it was weird. at the same time, jeno didn't really care. his main focus was on the fact that renjun had said his book was being published.

he turned to the sink and took some water onto his hands, wiping his face to wake himself up a little. he couldn't help but think he was a failure. sure he's written hundreds of stories, gotten them edited, and such. but never in his life has he ever been lucky enough to get it published.

jeno had let that get to his head for the past few months and now he can barely even get to the third chapter of his stories. how pathetic. he thought. jeno turned his gaze to the person in front of him. his reflection. lifting his fist, jeno punched the mirror. cracking it, but not breaking it completely.

his knuckles were bruised and slightly bloodied but he couldn't feel or see any of that right now. pushing his bangs back with both of his hands, jeno sighed before leaving the bathroom. he received a couple of stares due to the state his hands were in, but he didn't let it bother him one bit. when he walked into the his shared office room, the two males looked at him immediately.

"jeno! i thought you died or something. you never miss a day at work i was worried sick!" haechan rushed to jeno's side, hugging him. jeno relaxed, returning the gesture before smiling.

"i'm fine, haechan. thank you, though."

"jeno, your hand." renjun observed. his eyes wide and full of worry. haechan followed the olders stare and his eyes soon widened as well. before he could yell at the older, jeno covered his knuckles with the other hand.

"i just scraped them up a little." he lied. haechan slid his tongue across his inner cheek as he glared at jeno.

"i know, i know," jeno shut his eyes, looking away, "i need to be more careful."

renjun appeared in front of the two younger males with a first aid kit. he cleaned up the small cuts before wrapping his knuckles with gauze. he was gentle and careful not to hurt him.

"please be more careful, jeno." renjun pleaded, looking up at jeno with sadness. he just knew he was lying when he said he scraped them up. jeno struggled in the past with his mental health due to his home life that they all agreed not to talk about anymore.

it went from terrible depression and anxiety, to just straight anger issues. now that they all have become closer, they make sure to look out for jeno and because of that, jeno has been calm and able to keep his composure. as soon as he walked into that office room, the two could just feel his troubled aura. and then the intimidating look on his face was enough to confirm that there was something wrong.

haechan and renjun looked at each other. that same worried look never leaving their eyes. they both knew they were thinking the same thing about jeno. though, they knew better than to bother him about it. it would only make him hide everything away from them. right now they just had to be there for him and take care of him until he was ready to tell them what was bothering him.

throughout the rest of the day, everything was going smoothly. johnny had told the rest of the office about renjun's book release and they decided that they would throw a surprise party for him. yeah, a few colleagues did find out about mr. na and renjun's innocent little play date even though jeno hasn't said a thing.

"he slept at his house?" one colleague asked.

"mhm, he's probably using him to get his book published." the other one replied.

"well that's not fair at all, we work our asses off and he gets to publish a book first? disgusting."

"what's disgusting, doyoung?" johnny asked, walking over to the two males.

"yuta was just telling me something about renjun. and i think you should know before you let him publish his book."