AFTER DARK

Chapter 10

Chapter 10
After sitting with the group for a while; occasionally chiming in the conversation, but silent for the most part, I finally got up, informing Daria that I was going to take a walk -- not making it obvious and not to raise suspicion as to where I was actually heading.

The simple truth was: I hadn't seen him for a while so I wanted to find out where he was. Fortunately, I spotted him not very far away. He was staring somewhere in the distance deep in thought. I was standing behind him a few feet away marvelling over the fact of how a person not perfect by worldly standards still reflected perfection in what he was and how he carried himself.

As I reached the point where he was sitting, he turned his head around in time as he already knew that I was standing there for so long. He made no effort of getting up instead he gestured for me to sit so I complied.

We both sat there on the sand looking out into the sea; far spread as far as a human eye could see.

"You've been sitting here for a while -- do you like watching the sea?" I asked, staring out into the Ocean.

I don't know why but I didn't hesitate to speak up at all. I wasn't nervous either. In his company, I felt more liberated then ever.

A long silence followed, after which I carried on speaking.

"Are you meditating?" I dropped another question.

More silence followed.

"You don't seem to say much," I said, cringing my cheeks.

With a swift turn of the head, he caught my gaze. He looked at me and his eyes said 'do you really want me to open my mouth?'.

"I guess you're busy admiring the Ocean," I said, thinking about getting up.

"Whenever I come here," he finally spoke. "I feel a sense of peace. I know it's not a quiet place ... there are people all around ... cars in the background ... still, there's something about the Sea that draws me into its spell everytime."

I listened, and for a moment, the people and the air (and the sea itself) -- all faded away, and all I could hear was the sound of that soulful man.

"It's like time ceases to exist ... and in this stillness ... all my thoughts and my questions don't seem to matter much."
"What thoughts could trouble such a composed person like you? You seem to have fought all the demons inside you, no?"

A thoughtful line formed on his forehead, as he reflected for a few moments.

"The inner battles never end, no matter how far along a person comes in life."

The sounds of the people passing by brushed through my ears, but I gave no heed to any other voice other than his.

"Are you not content with your life?" I asked, blocking out the background noise.
"It's not about being content in my life; that I am Alhumdulilah, it's just that contentment doesn't come with coldness! No matter how strong I become or how much I achieve in life there's always a void within either left there by the weight of the past or uncertainty of the future".

As he pressed his lips on the word 'past', I sensed pain in his eyes. I knew there was a story in his heart -- a story which he hadn't shared with anyone yet.