AFTER DARK

Chapter 17

You know how, when you meet some people, they leave an imprint of their soul in your heart -- well, Rehan was that someone in my life.

Days after our last meeting, I could still hear the soothing sound of his voice gliding down in my heart like white feathers. I could contemplate over the things he talked about for hours and hours, and when I was not talking to him on the phone, I felt this growing emptiness in my dire existence, which I believed only he could fill.

In the many conversations we had on the phone, I learned a lot about him. I knew, for a fact, that he was single. At first, he wouldn't open up much. He'd say that he was devoted to his passion for arts and music. Then he'd give vague statements like 'life is love in itself. Whatever emotions we feel for someone, we feel them inside ourselves, but since we don't see ourselves all too well, we associate our feelings with another person'.

He did eventually tell me about someone he once loved, but that nothing ever became of it. I told him that if he really loved someone, he should go after her, but he said he didn't believe in the love of possession. He believed love should be set free -- if it flies away and never looks back, it was never meant to be, and if it returns, embrace it, for it is true love.

When he talked about love, I couldn't help but wonder if he loved me or not. No one had ever loved me in life. I got married at a very young age, to a man who promised to give me a good life, but ended up throwing me out of his house like trash.

For years, I thought I could never live again; I had locked myself up in my own body and tortured myself for the bad decisions I had made earlier on in life.

Then, Rehan came and he found the tortured soul living inside my body. And the surprising thing was, he didn't even have to break in to enter -- he simply unlocked the door and walked right through, as though he belonged in there all along.

The problem was: he was a mysterious man. And although, he showered me with love and affection, he never once said that he loved me, or even indicated if he intended to take our relationship to the next stage. So, a week later, I confronted him.

It was an unplanned meeting. Daria was finishing up her work at the office. She asked me to meet her at the office, as we had to go to the mall later (an activity I found quite tiring as of late).

Anyway, I dropped by her office around 5. When I entered the lobby, Daria texted me that it would take her some more time to finish up with the work, so I waited a while in the lobby.

Before I even sat on the couch though, I got back up again, and started to wander about Rehan's office. I knew the man was inside, I just didn't know how to get into his room.

While I looked for a way to get in, his secretary eye-balled me back and forth. I didn't care what she thought of me. The only thing I cared in that moment was seeing Rehan.

Shortly afterwards, there was a call at the reception, and the secretary answered the phone. Then she got up to deliver the message to Rehan.

The door opened, and I got to see a glimpse of the man. He was having tea in his office. I wanted to be in there. I don't know why but for a second I started to feel a little jealous of his secretary. Also, I was afraid that if I don't win him over, maybe he might start looking for other options.

With all this in my mind, I did the most stupid thing I could: I went ahead and knocked on his door.

The secretary opened, and straightaway made a displeasing face. In an unenthusiastic manner, she turned her head and told Rehan that he had a visitor.

"Who is it?" Rehan inquired, putting his cup down on the table.
"Ah' the same girl who came in the other day," she said, in a weighty voice, like my presence was a burden somehow.

Rehan stood up and spotted me from afar. He limped his way to the other side of the table, reminding me that he wasn't perfect. But that didn't matter to me -- in my flawed vision, he was perfect.

"Her name is Sarah, and she is your elder, okay?" Rehan said, graciously welcoming me inside. "A noble lady."

He showered me with compliments, and suddenly I didn't feel insecure or out of place anymore. I knew, here was a man who respected me and wasn't ashamed of being around me.

When the secretary left, I walked in to meet him. As we came closer to each other, I held my steps, stopping a little short of him. I didn't want to give him any wrong ideas.

"I didn't mean to disturb you ..." I said, placing my hands together, with one fist tightly closed in the palm of the other. "I was just waiting for Daria to get done with her work ... so I thought I'd drop by and say hi."
"Hi," he said, smiling at me charmingly.

I giggled, restraining myself as best as I could.

"It's good to see you again," he continued, making a strong eye contact with me.
"Come, sit down."
"No, Daria would be out any minute ... don't want to give her any wrong ideas."
"Oh okay," he said, apparently holding the door for me to leave.

I stood there for a moment, wondering if he was offended over something that I said.

"You ... want me to leave?" I asked, after he stood there motionless.
"That's your decision to make," he said, shrugging his shoulders.
"But you're holding the door like you want me to go."
"That's because you said you had to go."
"But I don't want to..."
"Then why are you so double-minded about coming in here? It's like you've just entered a crime scene ..."
"I'm just worried what Daria will think, that's a-"
"Don't think for others," He cut me short. "Tell me what you think about this?" He said, sweeping his index finger back and forth.

I blinked, then froze on the spot. It was as though my brain gave up on me, and everything just went blank.

"Because I think what we share is a special bond, and for me, that's more important than what the people in the office think ... or anyone else for that matter."
"It's easy for you ... you're a man ... and you're confident."
"I'm not confident because I'm a man ... I'm confident because I have full confidence in both of us. When our intentions are pure, why should we act like thieves?"
"I wouldn't be so sure about that ..." I said, lowering my gaze.
"Why? Is there something you're not telling me?" He asked, trying to see the truth in my eyes.

Thankfully, before it could get any harder to hide my feelings from him, Daria knocked on the door and stood before us.

"Aa-hm ... I hope I'm not interrupting something," she said, in a slightly irritated tone.
"No, I was just coming out," I said, walking past Rehan with my eyes fixed to the floor.