I'll Make You Bleed

Epilogue: If Only (Jean POV)

**TRIGGER WARNING: References to SELF-HARM and SUICIDE are mentioned in this chapter. If you are sensitive to this subject, please read with caution. 

We also would like to thank each and every one of you who've been on this crazy adventure. We hope you enjoyed our fic and *winks* we'll see you in the next one. Thank you!! 

Written by: blueTshirts** 

4:52 AM 

My eyes have gotten used to the gothic darkness of the night, but they water at the sharp chill in the air. My feet slap against the ground as I continue to run through uneven terrain. Pulsing aches shoot up through my calves with each lunging step, a similar growing ache echoes in my chest as I huff foggy breaths of the October air.

My chest stammers with rhythmic yet frantic heartbeats. I feel my hands shake and my throat choke around thick saliva. I blink the water from my eyes. I wipe harshly at them with the back of my hand and continue to run.

The frantic feeling in my chest starts knocking at my lungs and making my rib cage rattle. My breaths sound more like gasps rather than the contained, even breathing that I've been working so hard on perfecting. I squeeze my hands into fists, hoping to maintain control. I'm not going to let myself fuck this up again.

I curse to myself as I shadows start dancing in front of my vision. I wiz past dying trees and fallen leaves. I keep my eye on the break line of the woods. I squint as I see faces poke out from behind trees and footsteps pounding next to me. I try to shake the ghosts from my eyes and focus on the burning pain in my muscles rather than the burning pain in my head.

Just make it to the end, I tell myself, just make it to the end.

I jolt when I hear a gunshot. I lose my footing and nearly face plant into a tree. But I catch myself and use the tree to push me into continuing down the trail. There's no gunshot, I tell myself. But then there's a scream. The scream has me digging my heels into the mud and whipping my head around. I look through the trees with tears burning my eyes. It's just because of the cold.

I listen to the silence of the woods. No one is there. Everything's fine.

The scream wails through my head again. I squeeze my eyes shut and tense my shoulders against my ears. The bone chilling cry sends a wave of tremors through my body. The blankness behind my eyelids flash with blood.

"Fuck you," I hiss under my breath as I turn back towards the end of the woods and begin running again like I never stopped. I sigh the anxiety out of my lungs and pretend that I don't hear my name being called after me as I exit the woods.

Through the break line of the trees, I bolt up the hill feeling my thighs curse at me as I take each step at full power. I grit my teeth until I've made it over the hill, only then do I finally stop, flopping into the grass and rolling onto my back.

I breathe until it doesn't hurt so bad, staring up at the fading stars as the night turns to morning. The sun won't come up for a few more hours. I hate the moon. I hate the dark. I hate the stars and I hate that night only gets longer towards the end of the year. It's easier to pretend everything is fine when it's light outside. But I can't control the sun or the moon, so I have to try and stop hating the glowing rock in the sky so much.

"Fuck you, moon," I curse between breaths as I glare at the sliver in between dark clouds. I push myself up on my elbows and glare down at the woods at the bottom of the hill. "Fuck you too, woods."

With that, I stand and start jogging back towards the road. The streets are empty, the shops are dark, the traffic light blinks red and yellow at unoccupied intersections. I run under the streetlights that shine down onto the crumbling sidewalk. I avoid the cracks as I pass them, hopping from one tile to the next.