All she ever wanted was everyone around her to be happy. She was type of girl to back off, to let others satisfy their needs first. She never took the first nor the last bite. Always hanging somewhere in between but when she met the love of her life, Oe Azizah's needs were suddenly valued. She was never able to thank him for that, so now she regrets.
The taste of the liquor on her tongue made her forget her worries for a minute. For a minute, it felt like she wasn't haunted by the bloody sight of her family on the road, by the upcoming bills or anything else. For a minute, it felt like she could breathe again. The banging song in the booth came to a stop. Azizah wanted to turn on the next one when she felt something in her back pocket vibrate. With great effort she fished her phone out of her pocket and saw a text message of her mother. Not replying, she put it back in her pocket and tried to move towards the tv. A very ugly feeling made her aware of her body state and instead of turning on the next karaoke song, she left the booth to get to the toilets. Her vision was unclear when she reached the ladies' bathroom but all she did was worry about not puking on the floor, she did not have the money to repay any damages. Rushing into one of the stalls, she let everything out. With one hand she tried to hold her hair for it not to get in the way but it was not much of a help. Leaning her head against the stall door, she watched the white led spotlight above her before moving her gaze to her right hand. The gold ring still very much there, her not having the guts to remove it. But was it wrong? Who could judge a women in her own dispair. Altough no raindrops left her eyes, they still looked suffocated, broken and glassy. The woman that once carried herself with elegance and class was nowhere to find. She remembers the soft cries of her baby, her internal swearings and the sleepless nights. Her breathing starts to malfunction and she feels her heartbeat rise. Panic starts and she screams. A scream quite enough for the booths to not here. A scream loud enough for the man in the men's bathroom to worry. When Azizah's scream halled through the lobby, he rushed to the noise. Following the scream to the stall, he tries to open it. It's locked.
"Hey, can you hear me? Are you fine?", the worry was clear in his loud tone but Azizah couldn't hear a thing. She wasn't screaming, the shortness of her breath and the tightness of her throat wouldn't let her. "Listen, follow me, okay? Inhale. Exhale. On the count of three. One, two, three." His voice seemed so awfully familiar. An imagine popped in her head. Inhale. Exhale. So she followed him as he counted and breathed slowly with her. It took her a while but she managed to stabilize her breathing. "Are you feeling better now?" The voice from the outside of the stall asked. Blinking twice, Azizah tried to comprehend the situation before slowly opening the door. In front of her stood a man in loose sweatpants and a black turtleneck. She parted her lips, whispering a small yes while the man smiled. Slowly approaching her tipsy state, he accompanied her to the sink. She washes up, gargles and tries to regain more of her self while the handsome male never left her side. Instead, he brings her paper towels. Feeling grateful for the act of kindness, she wants to show him her gratitude. "Uhm...", her voice was quite, not having really spoken besides answering yes or no questions. She gets her phone out and the male in front of her panics before he sees her getting money out of her phone case. Handing out the money, she bites her lips as she looks down, trying to steady her vision. He gets flustered and quickly denies. "No, no. I don't want money. But are you really okay? Should I get you a taxi?" Azizah didn't answer, instead she held onto the male as she starts to see black dots. He quickly gets her out of the toilets and rushes to the reception desk. The owner of the place quickly recognizes both and apologizes on Azizah's behalf. "Oh, Mr. Kim. I'm so sorry on behalf of Mrs.- I mean Ms. Oe.", she quickly gestures him to lay her down on a couch at the staff room. "I will call someone to pick her up, thank you so much for your kindness. I'm so sorry for the bother." "No need to thank me, it was the least I could do, Ahjumma." He went back to his friends, informing them that he would leave sooner and went back to the knocked out women while Ahjumma gathered her stuff from the booth. He sat down on an office chair while waiting for the women to get picked up.
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AZIZAM | kth
Fanfiction"Orphan is what we call someone whose parents have died, but how about the other way around? there's no word for it in the Korean language because there's no word powerful enough to equate the pain of a parent losing a child." The story of a grievin...
