Nevermore

Chapter 7

        Roshan's smile too bright, too exquisite. I raise my gaze up to his eyes. They're fever bright. He's trying to convey something to me. 

I'm no fool. I know that he's lonely. He wants compassion and a heart to claim as his. Roshan is desperate, but I am not. 

It's all too much. I can't handle this much attention, such bold advances, and his reliance on me. This much I know: we are moving way to fast. I can't be his crutch. 

I do what I have always done: run. This time I do not make a mad dash into the creeping forest. I do something far more sinister. I take a few steps back from the towering Adonis. Uncomfortable, I avert my eyes.

I regret thanking him for taking me here. It is beautiful, yes, but I am not ready.

I glance back up at him. His eyes are downcast; I hurt him. I am a coward. I do not tell him how I feel or confront him, I let him make his own gossip.

Suddenly his head jerks up. "You're so strange, Nisha. One minute I think I'm going to see you- actually see you- and the next, you've completely shut me out. I want to help you! Can't you see that?"

I'll be forever grateful to him, but I cannot open up to this wondrous creature. 

"Maybe I'm not ready to be saved," I say softly.

He chuckles, "It's too late for that,"

He's right: he did rescue me from the storm and nursed me back from a wicked fever. I just can't let him see my mind. Not yet. 

I do feel a bit guilty, though. He brought me to a beautiful place. Roshan must keep it close to his heart, and he trusted me not to desecrate such a sacred spot. 

I sigh. Roshan slumps down onto one of the large rocks. He regards me quietly from silted eyes. The gold of his irises stand out against our shady, blue-lit background.

"What did you think when you saw the tiger?" he murmurs. 

This much I can give him. I don't like lying to him. I pick my way through the flowering moss and take a seat on a rock sitting across from his. My legs are drawn up beside me. 

"At first, I was terrified. How could I not be? Then, I noticed its eyes. They were so familiar; I saw so much in them," I explain.

"What did you see in its eyes?"

My eyes flick back up to him. Roshan is watching me closely, though he pretends not to be. He's still lounging calmly against his makeshift seat, but his eyes a hotly aware. It's unnerving. 

"Blood lust, power, rage. There was something else, though. There was an acute knowing, and a sadness in its knowing. That tiger is intelligent," As a say it, the more true it becomes. Like a torch shining through the darkness of the unknown, my thoughts have put themselves back together.

He is sitting straight up now. He is silent, and I can see that he is struggling with his words. He wants to say something, but is holding himself back. How long has he been doing that? Suppressing something? 

I patiently wait for his reply. The way his eyes are burning, I'm expecting him to shoot back profound thoughts or groundbreaking poetry. His jaw clenches.

Instead he offers, "It's dangerous to be alone in this jungle. Next time, maybe you shouldn't go alone,"

I choke back a laugh. He's dead serious. I grin, "Are you suggesting watching me while I bathe?"

His face flames red and his large hands scrabble to grip to rock beneath him. 

"N-no! I only meant-," He stutters. 

Being alone in a jungle for however long as done nothing for his sense of humor. I know it's wicked, but I fall back laughing. 

"It's okay, Roshan I was only joking! I knew what you meant the first time," I reassure him. 

He visibly relaxes and his face returns to its normal, bronze hue. He laughs weakly. I catch him sending me a 'you'll-be-the-death-of-me' glare. A sigh blows past his lips.

I change the subject before he embarrasses himself more. "How does the moss glow?" I ask.

He cocks his head to the side, thinking his answer through. "Honestly, I'm not sure. I wish I knew,"

Disappointed, I shift my gaze to the moss. I've never seen anything like it. I'm not sure how the growth fluoresces, but I want to know. 

I want to know. 

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Hello my lovely readers!! I know I've been absent for nearly 5 months. For those of you who was patiently continued to follow me, I am so grateful. I know this was a short chapter, but expect more soon! 

XOXOXOX