Lost Without You

~10~

"What are you laughing at?" Lia looked up at me from her notebook, eyebrows raised in surprise and confusion.

Luckily, I didn't have time to reply.

"Good evening my friends," Luigi welcomed us cordially, approaching our table and placing two menus in front of us. "How was your trip?"

The middle aged, friendly, tall and dark Italian was our family friend, from the moment my father drew the project for his restaurant some years back. Ever since then, Luigi made sure that there was one of the best tables available whenever I, or my parents, decided to eat at his place.

"Luigi! How are you?" I asked, standing up and letting him embrace me. Only now I realised how much I had missed him.

He and his wife wished for a large family, but couldn't have children. They knew well how things were between my parents. Luigi and Veronica regretted it, and felt sorry that they couldn't really help.

Oftentimes, while I was at school or at the university, I would come to their restaurant to do my homework at one of their tables, or simply for a chat, looking for a momentary escape from my family's life. I always found joy and solace in their pleasant company. Being around Luigi and Veronica was better than staying at home and having to listen to the muffled sounds of my parents' heated conversations. Their endless arguments, the angry voices descending down the creaky staircases of our old house from their bedroom, or creeping up through the floorboards of my room from the kitchen, filling the air around me, suffocating me like a flood...

"Are you all right, girl?" Luigi asked in English as perfect as my own, with only a hint of his original accent. He held me now at arm's length, looking at me carefully, examining me, the way my parents have never done. "You look... different. Good different. Grown up, somehow," he said after a while, his happy smile reaching his dark eyes and illuminating his attractive features.

"I'm fine, thank you," I said, sitting down again and thinking of a way to change the subject. Luigi was too perceptive, I couldn't have even him start asking questions now... "I saw Veronica this morning. She told me the same thing." His wife was just as warm, friendly and insightful as he.

He nodded, then looked around the restaurant, which was filling up fast. "Shall I leave you some time to decide what you would like to eat tonight or..."

"You know what I want, Luigi. And I bet Lia will have her favourite too," I beamed at him.

I hadn't noticed, during the year, how much I missed this world, my lifestyle. It felt good, being back... But I would go back to the castle, and Vlad, anytime, without a second thought or even just a hint of remorse for leaving anything or anyone behind, if only it was possible... I realised, with a pang at my heart, my smile fading away.

"I do. Spaghetti alle vongole for you, and una pizza Margherita for our Lia..."

"And two glasses of white wine, Luigi, you choose which." I added, knowing that I wouldn't be able to avoid Lia's questions tonight. And if I was to talk, I needed a drink...

"Sorry, Luigi," Lia said, giving me a look I could not decipher. Is she angry? Or exasperated? What have I done now? "Just give us a few moments please, we might try something new tonight." She finished, looking up at him.

"Fine, no problem girls, I'll be back in a few minutes." He said politely, before rushing off to a cheerful and noisy group of well-dressed, posh-looking Londoners which had just entered.

The newcomers let inside a gust of cold, refreshing air. It stirred and moved the heat and aromas of the restaurant around us, replacing them with new ones, reaching us from the kitchen. I had skipped lunch and now I was hungry.