What if...? JALGFY AU

Geyser Didn't Exist

A/N: Quick update to prove I know this thing still exists, I'm just eternally stumped because I wasn't expecting so many good questions-

What if Geyser didn't exist?

Seashell:............

Kelp: Nothing would be different.

Seashell: I hate you.

Kelp: TELL ME I'M WRONG, SEASHELL.

Seashell: YOU'RE SO WRONG.

Kelp: PROVE IT.

Seashell: If Geyser didn't exist, I'd be single, and Stream wouldn't exist and therefore Strillow wouldn't exist.

Seashell: So you'd all be spared the pain of watching Willow die-

Kelp: SPOILER ALERT!

Seashell: BUT Thistle never would have been adopted and would have led a horrible life! I would have been alone forever! Willow....would have married some other girl, but like IT WOULDN'T BE HER SOULMATE.

Seashell: SO YEAH, IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT THAT GEYSER EXISTS.

Kelp: Uh huh, totally- and if you had married Winter?

Seashell: Oh then Stream would be half-Icewing but still the same, Stardust wouldn't exist and that would really mess up Permafrost's life and the succession for the Icewing throne so like.... Major Icewing-Seawing conflict, Rin marries Permafrost, so Rainwing-Nightwing-Icewing conflict, Moon and Qibli get married, Parrot, Permafrost, and Rin turn into a polyamorous relationship that dragons only accept because it means that the Rainforest heir is still mostly Rainwing, and at least one of the Icewing conflicts would have escalated to some sort of war that really had nothing to do with Stream's existence, but the Rainforest and the Seawings would fight against them anyways. Could end with the entire power structure of Pyrrhia crumbling.

Kelp:.........Seashell what the hell-

Seashell: *shrugs* I'm just telling it like I see it.

Kelp: You do realize that all of that could happen if Geyser doesn't exist, right?

Seashell:........Oh shit-

Kelp: AND Stream would not be Stream because that's not how dragonets work, you'd have different dragonets with Winter and maybe one of them would mess up a different relationship- OH THREE MOONS WHAT IF ONE OF THEM ENDED UP WITH RAY OR ORANGE-

Seashell: How are you more concerned about your children's love lives than the erasure of my daughter's existence?

Kelp: BECAUSE MY CHILDREN IN-LAW ARE VERY DEAR TO ME, SEASHELL, OKAY, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM?

Seashell:.......You secretly wanted Rin to marry Permafrost, didn't you?

Kelp: *starts crying* YES-

Seashell: YEAH WELL I DIDN'T MARRY WINTER, SO STARDUST EXISTS, AND SO THAT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

Kelp: This is all Moon's fault, why did she have to have a dragonet-

Seashell: Forget Rin and Permafrost, this is about Geyser!

Kelp: Oh, right.

Kelp:....Awkward how the fact that you love him never came up.

Seashell: I don't think he actually talks in any of the books.

Kelp: Is Geyser even real?

Seashell: DOES GEYSER EXIST?

Kelp: ARE WE ACTUALLY IN A REALITY WHERE GEYSER DOESN'T EXIST AND WE NEVER NOTICED?

Seashell: IF GEYSER IS A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION, THEN WHERE DID MY DAUGHTER COME FROM?

Kelp: WERE THE SCAVENGERS RIGHT? DO STORKS ACTUALLY BRING DRAGONETS?

Seashell: YOU HAVE THREE, YOU KNOW THEY DON'T.

Kelp: I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE!

Seashell: KELP I DON'T THINK MY HUSBAND EXISTS.

Kelp: I DON'T THINK HE DOES EITHER.

Seashell: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Kelp: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

*Meanwhile*

Ander: Mother, have you seen my hallucinogenic mushrooms?

Joy, who saw Kelp take mushrooms as a snack for him and Seashell earlier: Uhhhhhhhh-