sunshine // l.r.h

10.

dear diary,

it's been a while but they're back, the nightmares are back. it's currently 5:39am and it's been approximately 4 minutes since i woke up in a cold sweat. this ones worse. this is the worst i've had it. i thought they had finally stopped but i thought wrong. imagine me thinking that i could actually get away from it, stupid, really. i didn't think they could get any worse, but here we are. i realise that i took the previous nightmares for granted and in fact, i don't think they were even nightmares to begin with. before i would just see kai, alone, screaming and bellowing for me to help him before the house engulfed in flames. but this, this was different.

i'm going for a walk, that'll clear my head. right?

i didn't bother to get changed out of the men's grey sweatpants and oversized hoodie that i wore to bed, taking the extra time granted to tie my laces perfectly and grab a water from the fridge.

thankfully my parents weren't awake yet and i slipped out of the house going unnoticed.

the sky was dark due to dawns late arrival yet the obvious bad weather didn't help.

i plugged my earphones in to my headphone jack and began playing the playlist labelled 'luke'.

i closed my eyes, listening intently to the upbeat music that reminded me of the very boy that the playlist was named after.

soon after closing my eyes, they were forced open in reaction to my body slamming into a metal lamppost. deciding that my safety was important and closing my eyes, was bound to put that said 'important safety' in danger, my eyes remained open for the duration of my walk.

to be truly honest, i had absolutely no idea where i was going. i let my feet and my music guide me to where my brain felt the need to go.

after a lengthy walk, i found myself outside of a small, but homely, house. confused as to why i was so drawn to this particular house out of all of the similar builds around it, i stepped forward on to the driveway.

sense and logical thinking took over my body at once and i retreated.

georgia-rose parker what were you thinking? that was someone's house, someone's driveway. lets pray they don't have cameras.

the faint sound of a door unlocking rang behind me before loud clattering of glasses and bottles replaced the noise, filling the mild morning air.

my intuition screamed at me to look at what or who was causing the noise and i listened.

although i wish i didn't.

my heart pounded in my chest as i began to walk faster, adrenaline pumping through my veins as i hurried to get away from what was causing so much havoc to undergo in my body.

"georgia! hey!"

fuck.

my heart swelled at the sound of his voice but i had been dreading this meeting.

no wonder i was so drawn to that house.

i slowly began to pivot on the spot, the warm and welcoming face of the man who keeps popping up in my life came into view and i was overcome with emotion.

not embarrassment, not excitement or happiness.

sadness.

my arms fell limp at my side as i began to weep, the sky following in my footsteps moments after.

i stood - shaking, although i wasn't entirely sure whether it was because of my sobbing or the sudden downpour.

wordlessly, a shirtless luke sporting a similar pair of sweatpants to myself rushed to my lifeless body, engulfing the cold, soggy frame in a warm hug - despite the drop in temperature.