indirects // a.b

4.0

i saw you looking brand new overnight
i caught you looking too, but you didn't look twice

i remember the day i broke things off
you were confused
and i was hurting
you didn't know the true extent of my actions
and i didn't have the heart to tell you
because i wanted to leave you completely
but you didn't catch on

you look happy
you look happy

you said our friendship was fluid and could survive anything
but it didn't survive this
feelings ruin everything, and you'll never know why i left
i guess this is the time to tell you, huh?
i hope you never read this because that's just too much to admit
but i liked you
and you didn't like me
i know you didn't

flashing back to new york city
changing flights so you'd stay with me
remember thinking that i got this right 

from the amount of times we playfully flirted
and all the times you shut me down
i couldn't keep entertaining these
and i felt selfish

i'm so completely selfish 
i left for myself because i knew i wouldn't get anywhere with you and i didn't want to keep living a lie
i didn't want to keep playfully flirting with you anymore
i didn't wanna keep telling myself that there was a small chance you'd like me the way i liked you
so i cut you off

now i wish we never met

it felt liberating, yet also anticlimactic
because it ended so quietly
it ended so quickly

cause you're too hard to forget

there were no tears that night
just an empty hollow feeling at the middle of my chest
and after that i just moved on.
i just went on with my day, and the rest of my summer.

while i'm cleaning up your mess

but then i knew
the tiny hints of you replacing me? i found them out.
i saw your discord profile picture change into a picture of him.

i know he's taking off your dress 

the guy that i told you to never talk to
the guy i saw as a threat
and rightfully so

thinking of him makes me so unbelievably mad
and the fact that you're so happy with him
way happier with him than you could ever be with me

really fucking hurts :)

and i know that you don't, but if i asked you if you loved me
i hope you lie to me

Lyrics are from Lie to Me by 5 Seconds of Summer