TV Jumper | Jasper Jordan x reader

11 | The Calm

His lips find mine again, heating up the kiss once more. I really am too in love with this hooligan for my own good.

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     I'm watching the South wall, gun raised. I know I won't be seeing anything, this episode doesn't really have any of that drama. Furthermore, I knew today would be the day where the smokehouse burned, destroying the food we've been storing for the past three weeks. The quiet of the forest, only hearing the sound of people speaking and the insects, brings me a wash of calmness.

     Jones soon arrives to let me off though, to my relief. I'd been on watch since last night, and the sun has risen well above the horizon by now. It's been two, very uneventful days. The only news being the death of Connor, which I knew was Murphy, while others accepted it to be fault of the virus.

     Jasper has spent the last forty-eight hours repenting as much as he can, whenever he's not helping to make gunpowder, that is, which I almost find amusing. While my trust may not be restored fully, he is back in my good graces. Hell, I even at one point saw him tell off Harper when she tried to get close to him.

     His attempts to regain my favour have range from gifts; those being flowers for the most part, to even giving up his makeshift bed. I denied this when he offered it, eventually getting him to let me sleep on the hard ground. It was a pretty cold night for me, but one where I really wasn't in the mood to be touched by him with the mental image of him and Harper in my head.

     Where his hickey from the girl had long faded, the one I left on his jaw from the other night was still pretty damn prominent, which made me feel superior to my fellow guardsman. I've caught her glaring, whether it be at just me, or me with my boyfriend, but I truly could not care less. I know that she'll eventually be happy with Monty, bringing along the birth of another one of my favourite characters, Jordan Jasper Green.

     Part of me wonders if I'll make it that far in the show. I know I'll at the least, try my best to keep Jasper alive through season four, with ALIE as well as the news of Praimfaiya. With him by my side, I think I'll be able to make it.

     But hey, that's six and a half years from now. Maybe by then, we'll even have a kid. I shudder at that  thought. I'm not fond of kids, but hell, that may change, and with a guy like Jasper, who's to say it won't? Again, that's six and a half years of show events, and I can, probably with the assistance of the surplus of fan fiction I've read, see a future with him beyond just our teenage years.

     My mind begins racing at that. If there truly is no way to escape this show, I'll be with these friends and this family for another near seven years, not even accounting for the travel to Sanctum, Bardo, and to the Skyring. Will I lose who I am? Of course, I'll change, that's just the nature of humans, but what if I fully lose myself?

     Already, I'm stuck battling with two different backstories. My own, versus the one the show has given me. The one I live with now, and seemingly gain more memories of every single day, while I'm stuck losing the ones I had before. What will that mean for my knowledge of the show? Will I never see again my real life friends? My family?

     Yes, I may have Bellamy and Octavia now as my family, with the other delinquents by my side, but it isn't the same. I wasn't raised first hand by Bellamy and our show mother, as this story had me be. I was raised by my mother.