MELODY

MELODY 41

┏ 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚝 ┐

Waking up next to Jackson wasn't anything special. It didn't blow his mind. It didn't stop him from breathing. No. But the serenity that washed over him still blanked his head. As he sat against the wall, staring at the sleeping man who was now lying facing him, his heart was full. So close to bursting into pieces.

A yawn left his lips, tiredness making his eyelids heavy.

He hadn't slept a wink, the quiet except for Jackson's soft breaths becoming his companion throughout the night. A million thoughts had crossed his mind, scenarios after scenario that he hadn't dared to contemplate all this while took front seat in his head. All of them centred around the idea of losing Jackson.

Losing this thing between them before they could even established properly what they were.

A sigh escaped his lips. He didn't want to admit it but he was a jittery mess, aching to know himself why he suddenly couldn't keep his promise to Jackson that he could wait. Fearful he would touch the guitarist's relaxed face, he got out of his bed, rushing into his bathroom. Taking a shower only calmed the darkest thoughts in his mind. But it didn't stop Leah's face from flashing in front of his eyes. From the voice in the back of his head to taunt him that Jackson was just confused.

That he could never willingly wanted him.

As he stared at himself in the mirror, he took in his slightly chubby cheeks and less bright eyes.

He took in a deep breath.

His lack of sleep had broken down the tall defences he had built around him. The walls that had stopped him from thinking anything but as it was. Speculations and worry only served to add more stress on him.

But you have to think about it now when it's still new.

The deepest parts of his mind spoke to him, pushing forth more of his doubts to surface.

What was he doing?

Shaking his head, he left his bathroom, pausing to look at the bed where Jackson had woken up. The man was yawning, rubbing the back of his neck. He had his phone against his ear, head ducked. Humming once in a while, it was only when the head lifted to meet his eyes that a smile stretched on his lips.

That mere look killed his worries and doubts that had kept him up.

At least for a little while.

"Yeah, fine, see you in an hour," Jackson said, tossing his phone to his side. "Hey."

"Hey," Bryan said. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah." Jackson searched his face before his smile fell. "Did you sleep okay?"

Holding back from a flinch showing, he smiled. "I did." He gestured at his phone. "Do... you have to be somewhere?"

The message from Leah flashed in his mind, almost causing him to tense. Jackson nodded, standing up as he scratched the back of his head.

"Practise," he said. "For your festival."

Bryan made a noise, nodding. He would be lying if he said he wasn't relieved. He was. The darker parts of him that acknowledged the fear that Leah would change Jackson's mind quietened at that. At least he trusted Jackson. Trusted him enough that he only had to say those few words to silence the doubts at last. Because Jackson wasn't with her at the moment. He was here, with him.