Twisted Minds [h.s]

S E V E N

I haven't slept at all since all the bullshit that took place. I've been laying here, staring at the ceiling while my stomach turns in twists and knots.

I've finally had my hands untied and was left alone in the room by myself.

My wrists were red and extremely raw. I could hardly touch them without wincing from the pain.

Its weird because I've always thought of myself as the strong type of girl. I've always thought of myself as the girl who could never be put myself in a bad situation because I was too smart and too responsible.

I'm nineteen and independent, living by myself and paying for my own needs. I don't have my parents around. I'm an only child. I take care of myself, for myself and it has never gone wrong for me.

I remember all through school, no one ever bullied me or teased me. I was never the type of girl that someone would pick on because I was never weak enough to let it happen. I've only ever had one boyfriend when I was sixteen but he was toxic and so I left and it was really that simple.

Standing for peoples shit and letting them walk all over me is just something that I don't ever usually let happen.

But over the past few days, it feels like I've had a complete personality change. I feel weak and I feel vulnerable.

I have been put in positions that I could've never even imagined being put in. I am smarter than this and yet I really feel like I'm not.

I don't know what is wrong with these guys but something about them makes me feel so weak and so fragile. I mean, they even look at me a certain way and I feel like I want to cry.

Every minute of every hour I've spent going through this hell, I just wish I could rewind time and ignore the commotion happening in that alleyway.

But now I'm here, laying in a cold bed with a torn open shirt and burning wrists.

I want to try and run away. But I just can't find the strength within myself to actually go through with it. I feel nothing but weak.

The sunrise seeps in through the curtains and my eyes squint slightly.

My mouth feels dry and my stomach feels shrunken.

I haven't eaten or have had anything to drink at all since being taken and I feel like my body is slowly starting to shut down.

I don't feel like I'm dying, but the pain coursing through my body from the food deprivation is beyond painful.

I pull all my weight, as I sit up slowly.

My hair feels sticky and matted. I feel like I stink like shit and the only clothes I have are the leggings I'm wearing, a torn t-shirt and my out worn sneakers.

I am completely deprived of anything I need and feel completely dehumanised.

I use all the energy I have to stand up and drag my feet to the tiny bathroom.

I finally get a glimpse of myself in the mirror and my heart sinks.

That girl could not possibly be me.

My hair sticks to my scalp with grease and knots. I have pale, lifeless skin that's covered in small marks from being roughed around with.

My sea blue eyes have lost their glow and are dark, and sunken into my head. My lips are cracked from dehydration and I overall just look helpless and frail.

I already look dead.

A soft sigh leaves my lips as I turn my back towards the mirror and step towards the shower, trying to hold my balance and not stumble over.