Twisted Minds [h.s]

T W E N T Y T W O

Trying to sleep feels like a chore now. Everytime I close my eyes, I feel like hell is creeping up on me. I don't dream anymore because I just simply don't know how to. Dreams consist of happiness and laughter and joyful things usually; but when you aren't surrounded by those things in real life, all you have is nightmares.

It's been a few hours since my attempt at escaping and now everyone keeps obsessively checking in on me to make sure I'm okay. I don't think they really care about me, I think it's more the fact that they don't want some girl committing in their house.

The vomit is still in the bathroom as I can't find the strength within myself to clean it up, so I lay here under the doona cover and stare at the ceiling, hoping that morning will approach quickly without me having to sleep.

"Soph." The door creaks open and I peer over the doona cover to see Nialls tired face leaning in.

"Mm?" I croak out, exhaustion flooding through my body.

"I'm going to go to sleep now. Come get me if you need anything okay?" He whispers and I faintly nod my head.

"Okay."

I watch as he looks at me, as if contemplating something in his mind.

"I-uh. Goodnight." He mumbles with a soft smile before shutting my door.

I lean my head back down in the pillow, exhaling deeply.

I'm so drained. I don't know why the fuck I did what I did before and now it won't stop replaying in my mind.

I'm just so disappointed in myself.

I've never been suicidal or depressed. I've never been so broken before in my life. It's like I went from one extreme to another without really thinking about it. I didn't give it any thought, I just came to the conclusion that that is what I needed to do and went with it.

It's so ridiculous but I was so sure that I had made the right choice. But now I feel like an idiot.

I remember leaning on the balcony with Harry telling me that if I jumped he wouldn't get mad. God, that feels like years ago.

But he was the first person to come to my rescue when I was swallowing pills on the bathroom floor. He was the person to jam his fingers down my throat and make me throw up. He was the person to hold me in his arms and comfort me.. as if he somewhat cared.

And just as those thoughts circled my mind, I hear a loud bang and immediately I sit up in surprise.

I look over to the small clock and realise it's four in the morning. What the fuck?

I listen intently for any other type of noise, and just as I suspected, there was another bang followed with an ear piercing shatter.

I flinch slightly and knit my eyebrows together in confusion, pulling the doona off of my body and placing my feet on the cold floorboards. I walk to the door, creaking it open ever so slightly.

Peering into the almost pitch black hallway, I notice a small sliver of light coming from the opposite end.

Curiosity getting the best of me, I slide out of the room and cautiously walk down the hallway, past all the doors and entry of the staircase until I'm on the opposite end, faced with a large door that has the light seeping out through the crevices.

This must be Harrys room. I've never even come near his room before, and I never planned to but what if something bad is happening and he needs help?

I raise my fist to the door, hesitating to knock, until I hear another loud crash and force myself to quickly knock on the door.

Immediately, the ruckus comes to a stop and silence fills the house.