Twisted Minds [h.s]

F I F T Y T W O

I stare blankly at his low features as he looks at me with nothing but sadness and dread on his soft face.

"I'm letting you go." He repeats himself, making me take a step back in complete disbelief.

"What- why?" I ask just above a whisper, feeling my heart almost sink in my chest for a reason I can't explain.

The rest of the boys are now stood at the doorframe, including Niall — making this situation a whole lot more nerve wracking.

What is happening right now?

"Because I just am. You deserve better." He blandly explains to me, twisting the rings in loops around his fingers.

I crease my eyebrows together, darting my eyes all over his face as if maybe he would have the answers written in his skin.

"I don't understand. You're okay with me going home right now? After everything?"

He nods his head slowly, giving me a soft and sad smile.

"Yeah. Go work at your record store and go tell your bestfriend that you're okay. Pretend none of this ever happened, I trust that you'll do that." He continues as I swallow harshly.

He wants me to leave?

I mean I was planning on leaving no matter what right now, but now that he's telling me he wants me to leave and go home and pretend this didn't happen — I can't help but feel my heart shatter in my chest.

Was this a traumatising experience? Fucking beyond that. And did I appreciate the constant mental and physical torture? Not in the slightest. But I found something within these months that made me grow an attachment to being surrounded by these psychopaths.

I grew to know them and I grew to almost enjoy their company. There was so many pointless conversations I had with each individual member of this fucked up boy band that made me almost grow quite fond of them all.

I couldn't even find myself to judge them for the absolute fucking disgusting things they've done because simply, I had now done them too. They killed people and so did I. I cannot judge their minds when mine might be just as fucked up as theirs — maybe even worse.

Maybe I'm dumb, but leaving them feels like leaving a group of friends behind. When you spend every hour of everyday with the same people, you can't help but become attached to them. It's human nature and it's almost instinct to begin to enjoy the company of other individuals when you spend all your days with them.

I had fantasised about leaving almost every single night, right up until the nights I started spending in Harrys bed. I was enjoying the warmth he brought into my heart. Harry is toxic and I won't deny that for a second. He's mentally fucked up and he has done some unspeakable things but he is a boy that I have felt things for — he's a boy that I find my heart beating rapidly for.

He's a boy who intrudes my mind 24/7 with that devious smirk he has permanently plastered on his full lips, and a boy who creeps into my dreams with those incredible emerald eyes that always seem to stare right into the depths of my soul.

And it was right in this moment — right in these seconds where I'm stood before a group of murderous musicians and realising to myself that no matter all the absolute hell I've been put through,

I don't want to leave.

"Go, Sophie." He intrudes my thoughts with his final words before turning his back towards me and beginning to walk back towards the house.

I don't want to leave.

"No." I firmly say, letting my wants more than my needs get the best of me.