Karma
January 21
12:15 pm
"How you feel about it?" Benji's momma asked me as we talked on the phone. I put my car in park, just getting home from doing somebody's lashes
"A part of me still don't even believe it yet"
"That's how it be at first until you finally have the baby"
"Forreal?"
"Yeah. I'm telling you.. at first I thought Benji was playing when he told me you were pregnant"
"When I told him he asked me who was the daddy"
She sucked her teeth and I laughed
"That boy plays too much"
"Forreal. But I'm glad he seems happy about it"
"I asked him how he felt, he said he was happy and ready for the baby already"
"Yeah he cant keep his hands off of my stomach"
"You better get used to it cause girl, I can tell he's excited"
"I'm glad he is cause I'm over here freaking out"
"You'll be fine. Issa learning process. If you have any questions about anything Lemme know. Okay"
"Alright"
"And you got Benji so take advantage of him as much as you can. A lot of people don't have that extra support. Appreciate it girl"
"I will. And thank you"
"You welcome. I'll talk to you later"
"Okay"
I hung up the phone and put my phone in my bag before getting out of the car. I could hear loud talking from next door causing me to look and I saw that it was Quez and his friends as usual
"Wassup karma"
I stopped in the process of heading to the door to look over at them
"Hey Quez" I spoke back before going into the house. Lani sat in the living room watching tv
"I thought you was home this whole time"
I squinted my eyes a little
"How?"
"I figured you was sleep as much as you be sleeping lately"
"I been tired lately"
"Well now you know why"
I rolled my eyes and she laughed
"Oh hush up. You should be excited"
"I don't look excited?"
"Not one bit"
"I am.. I'm just tryina figure out how to tell my daddy about this"
"You still ain told him?"
"No. And I know he gone flip"
"And? If he do that's him. You a whole adult taking care of yourself along with a boyfriend that got money. I could see if you was still depending on him but you not. If he mad cause you living life, he got some issues he need to deal with. How did dena take it?"
"She's happy. She been texting me nonstop about baby stuff already"
"Awe. She so excited. Kay this baby gone be so spoiled. Especially by me"
I shook my head and sat down on the couch beside her "all y'all gone have this baby spoiled rotten"
"Duh. It's my first niece or nephew" she touched my stomach
"Hopefully it's a nephew. I'm sick of girls" I told her as I grabbed a piece of her Ghirardelli chocolate from out the pack and opened it
"Well I think issa girl. I can see You with a daughter"
I tried to think about it but eventually shook my head, eating the chocolate "Nah"
My phone started ringing so I reached in my bag beside me and pulled it out. Surprisingly it was my dad calling
"Why is my dad calling me?"
"Chileeee ion know but you might as well tell him now" she shrugged and I sighed, answering the phone
"Hello?"
"Hey babygirl. How have you been?"
"... okay" I stood up and went down the hall to my room
"Why'd you say it like that? What's wrong"
"Nothing at all ....other than the fact that I'm pregnant"
He stayed quiet for a while
"Excuse me. What?"
"I'm pregnant"
"With a baby?"
"Yeah."
He took a deep breath "are you serious right now karma?"
"What?"
"Pregnant?! By that boy?!"
"Why can't you just be happy for me-"
"Be happy for what?! My only child did nothing with herself but run to the ghetto and got pregnant by some drug dealer with nothing to his name but a criminal record. Why should I really be proof of that Karma?! You're sitting around doing NOTHING with yourself, depending on that boy and now he trapped you with a baby. I should've never let you go out there"
"You really serious right now?" I asked him "I went back to school and I graduate in a few months but because of what school I chose to go to that's not good enough for you. And I AM making my own money. Yeah Benji gave me a jumpstart but I turned around and flipped that money on my own and now I provide for myself so how am I sitting around doing nothing?"
"A real career karma! You need a real career but you let those people you've been around twist your mind! I'm so disappointed in you"
"Why can't you just be happy for me like ma?" I asked with an attitude at this point
"Oh so SHE knows?"
"Yes! And like I said she was actually happy for me"
"Cause she's happy for anything as long as it keeps her on your good side. I actually care about your wellbeing and I believe that you really screwed up your life at this point"
I nodded while running my tongue across my teeth
"And that's perfectly fine that you feel that way.. at least I know where you stand and how you feel"
"It really is. I don't even know what else to say at this point Karma... if I knew this was how you would end up.."
"What? You would've never kept me after my momma gave me up huh?"
He didn't respond back, instead he sighed and stayed quiet so before he could say anything else I hung up the phone, feeling my eyes water up a little. Soon my vision got blurry and I was so upset I couldn't stop my leg from shaking
"Kay" Lani yelled much name from the living room. I don't know why but her calling my name just ticked me off even more so I threw my phone as hard as I could across the room, hearing the glass shatter as it crashed and the tears started falling down the side of my face
