Words From Heart.. |✔

Absence (T)

Growing up with an absent parent has opened my eyes to the importance of having both parents being in a kids life consistently.

Growing up without my dad around I first went through a phase where all I could say was "I don't care"  " That doesn't bother me" Etc.

But then as time passed I started to grow anger issues,  Insecurities and depression. I never thought it was because him not having near me.

I spent days in denial saying "oh I don't care" "I have my mom with me that's all it matters"

But now that I am healing and the shadow works in my adult years, I know that all that hate and anger in my heart growing up all was because he was not around.

Broken promises,  feeling not worthy of receiving love,  seeking attention and validation from all.

Feeling not good enough, constantly having thoughts, "why do all my friends have their daddy around 24/7,  and I don't. There must be something I might have done wrong. "

Growing up sacred around men and want a mans love and affection all at the same time.

People say you always carve for something you don't have and this craving was not of desire or want it was a NEED. Daughter needing a fathers love. Constantly trying to fill in the need, in fear of not losing someone I did things for others beyond their worth but yet they showed who they are and yet again I was left with my broken self only finding the feeling of being wanted, loved and cared for.

When a child grows up with a lack of a parents presence, that child grows a void in their heart that they can walk with for life, if not dealt with.

A void of constantly having a missing piece and never being able to fill in that piece.  Constantly craving something that you've never even had.

And it hurts💔.

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