A Realization | kurooxkenma (Haikyuu)

8. a realization

Kenma's bedroom - midnight

Kenma's POV

My heart wouldn't slow down, I tried to breathe. Kuroo had just told me that he was in love with me. We kissed. I repeat, WE KISSED. I kissed my best friend and it wasn't weird for him. "Kenma?" I heard him say. I was hiding under my bed covers, trying to make sense of what exactly was happening. "Kenma you can come out, I don't bite." Kuroo joked. That's finally when I had a realization. All of this stress and sadness built up for the past 4 years was all for nothing, because in the end, he was already in love with me.

I sat up and sat on the edge of my bed and wrapped my arms around him, while digging my face into his neck. He sat up straight and pulled my body against his, so that he was right in between my legs. He held me super close and for once, I had felt the safest I've ever been. I finally felt okay. And that was a huge relief. I didn't have to push Kuroo away any longer. I could do whatever I wanted with him. And for now, just embracing him was enough for me. We were so close, that I could feel his heart beat. It was at such a satisfying pace. He seemed so relaxed, and it felt soothing. I felt so calm, and so composed. Kuroo was so good at making me feel so safe.

We only hugged for a couple minutes. There was no conversation or sounds. It was just utter silence. It was so quiet that I felt like I could now hear his heart beat. I was even convinced that our heartbeats were in sync, cause I felt like I could hear mine as well. I love him so much. And that's all I could think about. Eventually we stopped hugging, and Kuroo climbed back in bed with me. There was no more questions or concerns, there was only happiness. Kuroo wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead, making me blush. He let out a big sigh and instantly fell asleep, followed by me, not long after him.

When I woke up in Kuroo's arms the next morning, I started to panic, not remembering the events of last night. Then it hit me, like a volleyball on the back of my head. I watched him sleep and admired his utter beauty. He was mine. All mine. I slowly slid back into his embrace and closed my eyes, so satisfied with the current situation. Of course Kuroo woke up after I did so. I watched him realize what was going on and he grinned so widely. He leaned in and kissed all over my face, making me giggle. Then he kissed my lips slowly, just like last night. It gave me butterflies and made me feel like I was a teenage girl, fantasizing about a celebrity. I kissed him back more passionately and he smiled into the kiss.

He sat up and hovered over me, making me want to scream. I've dreamed about this happening over and over again. And it was more perfect than my imagination. He pulled back and stared at me. "You're so hot." He told me. My eyes widened and I felt my face heat up. He grinned at my reaction and then started to laugh. Kuroo got off of me and stood up. I watched him take his shirt off while facing the other way. I couldn't keep my eyes off of his back muscles. I bit my lip and sat up, while he changed into another shirt. He turned around. "You were watching me, weren't you?" He asked me. I nodded. He blushed. "Okay, stop gushing over me and get up, we still have a volleyball game kitten." He said. But then he paused and covered his mouth.

Kuroo's POV

Kenma gave me a weird look. "I can call you that, right?" I wondered, forgetting that about what happened last night. "Yes, call me that whenever you'd like." He nodded. "Whenever I'd like, huh?" I smirked. "Even in front of the guys?" I asked Kenma. "I- uh, I don't-" He fumbled his words. "You can say no, y'know?" I smiled, watching him blush like crazy. "I don't care, actually. You can call me that in front of the guys if you'd like." He shrugged. My mouth dropped. Kenma usually hated when I called him that and especially in front of anyone else. We both knew that I did that to tease him, if I called him that in front of the guys, they'd know something was up.

"Are you serious?" I asked him again, wanting clarification. "Hm." He replied, along with a small nod. He didn't even look up at me when he was on his phone. I knew he was listening, and Kenma barely lies. So was he actually serious?? "Kuro- we've got to go now." He said, calling me by my nickname. I smiled. Everything seemed back to normal, except the fact that we were literally in love with each other. I felt my limbs get weak as he held out his hand for me, right before we left the house. "Are we going to hold hands?" I asked him, making his face go slightly pink. "We don't have to-" "NO NO NO! I would love to!" I cut him off, while grabbing his hand and intertwining our fingers.

We left the house and started to walk towards the train station. He turned his head away and leaned forward to see what he was doing. His face was sweaty and red, he almost looked like he was going to throw up. "Kenma, are you feeling okay?!" I said as I spun him around to face me. He looked down and hid his face in his hands. "Are you sick?? Did you catch a cold? You're all sweaty and pink!" I rushed, not knowing what to do. "No!" He said, throwing his hands down in what seemed like anger. I grabbed his face with both of my hands and pulled him closer. "Then what's going on? You look like you're going to die!" I whined.

"I- don't know! I'm not sick! I just feel weird! I'm all nervous!" He let out, looking really stressed about whatever he meant. "O-okay! Just- calm down!" I said, while grabbing his hands. Kenma was usually the one that helped calm me down, or anyone else for that matter. So this was slightly strange, what could be bothering him so much? "What's going on in your head?" I wondered. He looked up at me with a worried face. "I don't really know. I think it has to be good because I'm not feeling mad or upset about anything. I'm just really nervous!?" He said with frustration. I stood up straight and scrunched my eyebrows. I had a hypothesis, and I needed to test it.

"Come here." I said and leaned down to his height again. "Can I kiss you?" I asked him. His face went into an even darker shade of pink and he nodded. Our lips met and I felt Kenma squirm. I kissed him with force, and it made him grab onto me, holding on for dear life. I pulled back and his face was flushed with mere emotion. He was so darn cute. "K-Kuro." He stuttered, while taking a couple steps back and tripping on his feet. I grabbed his hand and saved him from falling. "What- what was that?" He asked me. "I had to test something, sorry if I went too far." I winked. "I know what's going on now, though. That's why I did that." I pointed out.

Kenma's POV

I looked up at Kuroo with hopeful eyes. "You don't know how to control your feelings anymore. Because you know that I love you back." He smirked and posed like some type of super hero. My god was this big idiot cocky. I kicked the back of his left knee, making it bend, and forcing him down to the ground. "Don't act like I know nothing about loving someone Kuro." I said and looked down at him. "That's not a nice way to treat your senpai." He whined. I stepped on his foot and glared into his eyes. "You might be older than me Kuro, but that doesn't mean I'm forced to give you any sort of respect. You have to earn it some other way." I said and crossed my arms.

"Kenma- didn't you just confess that you were in love with me? Like last night?" He giggled. I shot my eyes at him and he immediately stopped. "You know people can fall out of love, right?" I told him. "Uh-." He let out. His face looked really shaken up. I started to walk away, satisfied with the outcome of our conversation. "I won't let that happen." Kuroo said as he caught up with me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him, basically letting him know that I agreed. "I won't let it happen either." I added. "I love you." He said, making those weird feelings start to come back. "You can't just say that in the middle of nowhere!" I said, un-attaching myself from him. He laughed as I crossed my arms.

I looked up at him and he was smiling so brightly. His eyes were closed and it's like we were walking in slow motion. He was so beautiful, and I was so in love with him. With everything about him. In that very moment, I felt so lucky that Kuroo was in my life. I had this great feeling of success lifting me up, every second of today. For the past 4 years of my life I loved Kuroo so much. I loved him for always excepting me and always being by my side. He was always, and I mean always was there for me. He never stopped pushing me to play volleyball, because he wanted me to have something. But what he didn't know is that I already did have something. And that something was him. What a big idiot.