Strawberries and Cigarettes

🍓Ninth🚬

Ninth

After receiving Joong's message, I grabbed my wallet and immediately left the house. I don't want to face him yet. I don't think I can face him after hearing those words.

I want to calm myself down first and I want some time away from him.

I composed a message for Aunt Jane saying that I might get home late tonight, I don't want her to worry.

I'm now sitting under the shade of a tree here at the riverside. I don't really have a plan on where to go, I just found myself walking all the way here.

This place is awesome. I can feel the cold wind brushing againts my skin and it kinda' make me calm down a little bit.

My phone vibrated with Joong's call for the tenth time. Just like what I did earlier, I let it stop on it's own. I'm serious when I say that I want some time away from him.

I don't know what to do next. Should I confront him? Should I ask him again about his feelings? Should I ask him why the hell did he kiss me and say that he doesn't like guys after? Should I move out of their house?

I think I need to stop having feelings for him. Having a relationship with him is quite impossible.

My phone vibrated again but this time, it was Pavel. With the thought of him calling because of work, I immediately picked it up.

[Shia Nine?! Where the hell are you!? Joong just came here to look for you, he said you're missing and you're not picking up his call. I immediately close the shop so I can help looking for you!!]

"Is he still there?"

[He just left. He decided to look for you at your mother's grave]

"My.... mother's grave?"

How come he knows where my mother's grave is??

So all this time, he knows who I really am huh? Yes, I told them my mother died but I didn't told them the cemetery where she is buried. So he really remember who I am, how come he didn't tell me?!

I don't know what to feel anymore, or do I really need to feel something? So what if he doesn't tell me about that thing? Why should I make it a big deal?

[Right!! And let me ask you, why are you ignoring his calls? Having a fight with him huh?]

"Can I go there now? And please don't tell Joong. I need some time away from him"

[Uhh okay?! But you owe me an explanation!! Come quickly, or you want me to pick you up?]

"Nah, I can manage. See you"

I ended the call and lazily stood up. I find a cab and immediately give the address of the coffee shop.

Everything that happened today feels like a dream, or more like a nightmare. I can't really adapt all of that in just one drop. My mind is as rusty as an abandoned bike, it won't function very well.

When I arrived, I immediately walk inside the shop. There's a CLOSE sign but I can still manage to go inside because it's not locked. There he is sitting at one of the tables.

"If you really don't want Joong to know that you're here, then we should talk inside the office"

I just nodded at Pavel and we both walk inside the small office.