DE L'AMOUR

Over men

I just want to scream! This fine specimen with that small penis, he's not even a bad person or so it seems so why does this have to be my life? Why do I get all the small ones, what do I even do right now?!

He looks at me and I feel so bad to do this but I told him to stop. It brought me back to high school. I can't imagine having sex with him and then pretending that I liked it and then his friends will already assume we had sex and I'd have to pretend like he's the best. I loved the head but this is not it.

"I'm sorry Nazair, my first experience was kind of traumatic and I don't think I want to do this,"

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to" he replied.

Why is my life like this, he's such a sweet guy. I put my clothes back on and head back to the party downstairs, he decided to stay in his room a little longer. I felt so bad but I think I would feel worse if I had gone through with having sex with him.

As I approach the others I see Mark whispering in Ashley's ear and her eyes go wide. I wonder what that's about and I'm sure Jared would be pissed to see that. When I was by Ashley I told her I'm ready to go in a hushed tone.

"Well that was fast" Tia blurts!

Because of what I went through with Neko I felt the need to respond to her.

"That's because nothing happened," I said as nicely as I could, even though I got the feeling she didn't like me.

I grabbed Ashley's hand and went straight for the door and into the car.

"Ash I'm cursed."

"What do you mean you're cursed" she laughs.

"He's only packing in his stomach area" I responded.

You're lying, she busted out laughing and wiping tears from the corner of her eyes. I sighed and sunk into the passenger seat as she drove us back to the dorms.

"What was Mark whispering in your ear?"

"It was a dare, Tia dared him to whisper something nasty in my ear and he said he wants to tie me up, eat my pussy and finger my ass." She said it like it was nothing.

"Whoa! He's nasty"

"Not as nasty as Jared" she responded.

"TMI Ash TMI" I cried.

Back at the dorms, Ash was on the phone with Jared telling him every detail about tonight and I was listening to music through my headphones to try and block out my no filter best friend. I kept thinking about my two sexual experiences. I decided I'm done with men and I'm just going to focus on my school work even though I never lost focus.

My mother has worked so hard and I want to make her and myself proud which is why I never lost focus. I need her to know that she inspires me, that she did a good job and she did it without a man, so I'll be good without one too.

I was drawn from my thoughts when I heard Ashley saying I love you too. The song playing through my earphones had just finish which is why I heard her. It's not that I'm shocked but I just never heard her say these things. She's not affectionate, she's just so hardcore, which is why I was taken a little by surprise, my heart warms for them.

"Awww you two are too cute" I interrupted

She threw a pillow at me. "What? That's exactly what you would've done to me" I laughed.

~

When I woke up Ashley was in my face and I just knew it's some bullshit that she's on.

"What is it weirdo" I grumbled.

"I think I have a perfect idea," she said.

I just stared because I know how her mind works and I need a hot chocolate mocha with a shot of espresso to deal with her crazy.

"I think you should date a female since you have no luck with men," she said this seriously.

"I think you should stop going to your bed with crazy ideas. That way you won't wake up having mouth diarrhea so early in the mornings, you're always talking some shit" I miserably said.

"Well someone's not in a good mood" she responded.

I'm not a morning person and to be reminded that my life sucks wasn't the best way to wake up. I know I didn't hurt her feelings because she's hard as a rock, we've been friends for so long it's hard to hurt each other's feelings.

I grabbed my toiletry bag and headed for the shower with Ash beside me. I bumped into someone and this confirmed to me that I'm indeed cursed.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," a girl's voice says.

"I'm pretty sure it was my fault, I have a habit of bumping into people" I apologized.

"No, I'm sure it was my fault, sorry again. I'm Naya by the way" she smiled.

"Brielle" I extend my hand and she shook it.

"See you around ladies" she walked off.

"Won't you look at that" Ash says?

"What?"

"Oh nothing" she has this sly look on her face and I decided to avoid her, I wasn't in the mood.

After we showered we headed to our classes, I saw Naya in my class, she smiled at me and I smiled at her. This calculus lecturer was a bit on the boring side so I found myself drifting with my thoughts.

What if Ash is right, would I have a better experience with a female, I've never thought about that before, I don't even think I like girls.

That night I dreamt about Naya kissing me and rubbing her fingers on my clit through a silky panty I was wearing, I woke up hot and sweaty, my hair sticking to my face and I was wet. Luckily Ashley was still sleeping. I got out of bed and headed straight for the showers.