DE L'AMOUR

Mom

I ran straight into my mother's open arms and hugged her tightly.

"Hey baby girl I missed you so much"

"I missed you too mom"

We got to talking about the months I've been away and of course, I told her about Naya. Excluding the sexual details, she's just a friend and my mother doesn't need to know what I did with her because I don't even know how I feel about the whole thing.

"Darling I'm happy you're home because we need to talk. Your dad reached out to me two days ago."

I zoned out after she said the word "Dad" how dare he, after fifteen years!

"Brielle! Earth to please"

"Mom, did you just say earth to? Where did you learn that?"

"Baby girl, are you listening to me? Your father said he wants to come here for Christmas to speak with you"

"Who?" I ask

"Your father, Bryor Saunders" she clarifies.

"I don't have a father and I'm not interested in seeing that sperm donor. What could he possibly want to speak to me about after fifteen years mom?"

I feel like Christmas has been ruined and it's my favorite time of year. What could he want to talk to me about, I don't even care. I don't want to see him.

"Mom I don't want him here"

"He won't be staying here, he's staying at a hotel but he insists on seeing you".

"Wait! What do you mean he is staying at a hotel, is he already in town? Mom, did you agree to me meeting him?" The look on her face was all the answer I needed. I stormed straight up the stairs and into my very familiar childhood room.

The room looked the same way I left it, my queen size bed in the middle of the room with white linen and a pink fluffy blanket, pictures of mom and I, Ash and I and Aunty Jenni and I. All the family I have ever known and now the man that has abandoned me for so many years think it's ok for him to just show up and ruin Christmas!

I will not allow him to win! I refuse to see or speak to him. There's a knock on my room door and I know it's my mom, I'm mad at her for agreeing for me to see him behind my back.

"Brielle, I'm so sorry sweetheart but you've been carrying around so much hate and hatred for him and I don't want it to affect your future relationships so hear him out, at least see if you can forgive him for your sake, she says softly."

"Have you seen him?"

"Yes, we had coffee and talked."

"So you've forgiven him then," I asked

"I've forgiven him a long time ago, if I had held on to that hurt sweetie, I wouldn't be half the person that I am today."

She doesn't fool me, she's just trying to get me to talk to him because if she had forgiven him she would've moved on with her life. I want to call her out on that basis but I declined.

"What did he say to you" I'm curious about what that low life could've said.

"How about you talk to him first and then we'll talk about it after," she says.

I honestly hate this, I need Ash right now. I got up and put something warm on because the weather in Chattanooga this time of year is very unpredictable.

"Mom I'm going to go, I'll be back soon"

I could see the disappointment on her face but I'm a little bit irritated with her right now so I don't care too much.

                                     ~

"What could that demon want with you" Ash plays in my hair as we chatted about my sperm donor.

"I don't know and I don't want to know Ash, like how do you just show up after fifteen years to talk to a child you abandoned."

"I think you should hear what he has to say just for your sake, like are you going to wonder what he had to say if you don't go and hear him out," Ash says.

I'm starting to wonder if my mom and aunty Jenni set her up to say these things to me because my best friend would say he should fuck off!

I put my hands on her forehead to feel if she has a fever and she bats it away. "Stop it, I'm being serious," she says.

"Listen Bri, I'd do anything to have my Dad in my life right now. I miss him every day, it truly hurts that he is not here with us and I can't remember much of him that makes it worse. Your dad is a fool but he's still alive and you're still young, he missed out a helluva lot but I think you should hear him out. If he makes sense then you can try and if he doesn't then you can tell him to kiss your ass."

"I'll sleep on it"

I was considering staying at Ash's house but I felt guilty that I left my mother at home after just coming back home and she just wants me to be happy. Did having no relationship with my sperm donor affect me, I never took notice until my mother said it.

I unlocked the door and to no surprise, she was sitting on the couch with a coffee in her hand waiting for me. I went over to her and laid my head in her lap and sighed.

She rubs my hair the same way Ash was rubbing it and tells me everything will be fine.

"How long has he been here? When is he leaving? How did he find you?" I asked.

"He has been here since yesterday, I'm not sure when he will be leaving and he found me on Instagram."

"You're on Instagram mom"

"Yes I'm a hot mama" she sass

"Mom..."I groan. "Please don't be one of those mom's that gets all crazy on the grams"

"You can't tell me what to do, I'm the mom" she laughs and I sighed.

We stayed up watching movies and chatting most of the night. I agreed on meeting the donor tomorrow afternoon at aunty Jenni diner.