if we survive

t h i r t y t w o

a s h

This is where my new journey begins. New journal, new stories. New blood, new me. While shoveling dirt into Anon's grave I somehow cut my finger, my blood was black. I didn't let my brother see, I just wiped the blood away and continued burying the man that had ruined my life.

I'd intended to give Zac my journal as soon I knew I'd always be around him, and if he enjoyed it I might even give him this one too. Who knows, the kid liked stories so I hoped mine were interesting enough for him to enjoy.

Zac spoke and skipped the whole way back to Adam's camp while Colman and I hung a few steps behind him. Adam grabbed Zac's hand so that he didn't wander off while I wasn't watching him.

"I feel different. Like, I don't understand how murdering someone brought peace to the camps. I don't understand why or how you forgave your brother so easily, but I'm glad you did." Colman said. "When I saw you that day in the field, when I saved you from forcing your own fate, I knew that you'd become one of my best friends but I really didn't expect all of this. Everything we've been through, I'm trying to figure out how or when it began but nothing comes to my mind. Honestly, I thought you were cute when I first saw you so there wasn't anything else I really thought about."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Oh so a broken seventeen year old covered in blood is your type?"

"You know what I mean." She laughed back and punched my arm playfully. "I still think you're cute but not in that way. I love you to death Ashton but I see the way you look at Maven. Plus, I think Ethan's more of my type than you are." She shrugged.

I faked being offended and put a hand over my heart. "Damn, that stings."

"Oh shut up." She rolled her eyes but her smile never left her lips.

We arrived at Adam's camp within minutes. Zac was about to explode with excitement and Ethan was about to pass out from carrying Adrian all this way. Adrian's death was going to break the hearts of everyone, the entire camp would attend his funeral. The moment I saw someone crying I knew I break down, but I also needed to be there for Adam. The gate opened and we walked in, ignoring the stares and gasps as we walked to the graveyard. I caught Maven's eye as she forced herself through the crowd, she silently asked me what happened. My heart ached and I couldn't take it anymore. I ran to Maven and fell into her arms, she hugged me immediately and let me silently cry into her shirt. I tightened my grip and around her waist and she did the same around my neck.

"He's dead, Adrian's dead because I was too." I mumbled. "He died saving me even though I was already dead. I don't understand why he jumped in front me, I don't understand why he died to save a corpse."

"I don't know what you mean." Maven whispered but dug her face into my chest with no intention to ask me to explain.

I pulled away from her and wiped my eyes. I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the graveyard. I had to be there for Adam but I needed Maven there for me. Adam and Ethan were already digging Adrian's grave when we arrived and Zac sat in the ground drawing pictures in the sand completely bored out of his mind. Colman wrapped Maven in a hug while I walked over and sat beside Zac.

"You know we have to bury the dead immediately or else we'll lure monsters here, afterwards I'll give you a tour." I said and he nodded.

"Who was he? The dead boy, you cared about him?" Zac asked without looking my way.

"He was my friend. You would have liked him, he's in that journal I gave you. You'll get to know him as you read." I said and dropped a hand down on his shoulder. "Now those stories are scary so you don't have to read them if you get to scared, okay?"

"Nothing can scare me, Uncle Ash." He said. My heart dropped when he called me Uncle. I wrapped my arms around his small body and hugged him tight. He wasn't bothered by the gesture and calmly hugged me back. Everything was good, it was as good as it could get. This was something that didn't happen in the apocalypse, the cliche apocalypse takes away your family but it gave me mine. I found my brother, two best friends, a girl I really liked, and two nephews. Even if they weren't my biological family I'd stand by their side and kill anyone who hurt them. I wouldn't let them die before it was their time, I wasn't going to let death back in my life.

My story doesn't end with death, my story ends with me finding my family and living.

Zac, when you read this I hope you know that you're my family. I will protect you before saving myself even crosses my mind. Who knows how old you'll be as you read this, but I know you'll be alive because I refuse to let you die.

The apocalypse sucks but if it was all fun and games then I wouldn't have any right to call it an apocalypse. I wouldn't trade anything to be back where I was three years ago. Where I am right now is the only place I'll ever want to be. This world is my home, it might suck but it's mine.

A/N: Hey, you've reached the end of If We Survive. Now I'm not planning a sequel, but there may be a bonus chapter based in the future but for now this is the end. I wanted to end this on a happy note even if our beloved Adrian wasn't a part of it. This story sent me through an emotional roller coaster but I'm so happy I chose to write it. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have. Xoxo