dysphoria | mcyt

𝟘𝟚 | 𝕧𝕠𝕚𝕕

Badboyhalo blinked awake. He wasn't in the farm anymore, instead a dark, dingy smelling forest with trees that stretched far up into the distance. The canopy of leaves above him blocked out the moon, or the sun, he was unable to tell in the pitch darkness. He appeared to be running, but he didn't get tired. Almost as if he was spectating in his own mind. Odd.

He bounded through the trees, breathing hard and fast. He couldn't hear properly, everything was muffled and kind of muted, like if he was underwater.

"COME HERE, SAPNAP!" He shouted. But it didn't sound like him, it sounded like someone completely different- their voice was cold and sadistic, almost as if he was out for blood. Why was he after Sapnap? Were they doing another manhunt? That's weird. It was usually dream who was the speed runner. And why was it so..dark?

"Come on, Bad, we can talk about this!" Sapnap replied, he finally caught a glimpse. He was bloodied, slashes running across his back and face. Like he got into a fight with a chainsaw. They came across a dead end, a scraggly looking cliff looming over them.

"Give it up, Sapnap, Dream and George are already dead. You didn't think I'd let you go, did you?" Okay, it definitely wasn't him. The voice was borderline demonic and hungry, bloodlust ringing through it's tone.

"Bad, please don't- BAD!"

Bad jerked awake in an ice-cold sweat, huffing and puffing like he just ran a marathon. He glanced around. He was back in his house, no forest, no farm. What happened?

"Bad! You're finally awake. Are you okay?" George was sitting with Rat at the foot of his bed. He brushed his fingers through his hair and muttered something under his breath before leaning back against the headboard.

"What- What happened?" He asked his friend. "And where's Sapnap? Is he okay?" Despite it all being just a dream, he was still scared. What if something had happened? What if he lost his mind or something and hurt his friends? He wouldn't be able to live with himself. He was completely serious, but George looked at him as if he had gone delusional.

"You weren't at home for a while, so we decided to look around and found you passed out in the wheat farm. You were on like, half a heart or something so we had to get you back. Dream did the rest of your jobs for you, don't worry. Sapnap's fine, just worried about you. Like all of us." He explained. Bad furrowed his brow, staring down at his hands.

"You were out for two days." George finished.

"Two days?!" He lurched forward. Two days? How could he have possibly been asleep for two days? He had so many things to do. His first instinct was to get out of bed, but he immediately regretted moving so quickly when he felt his heart pound in his ears. His brunette friend quickly pushed him back against the pillows.

"Easy, easy. You look like you're going to drop dead if you get up too quickly. Take a break, Bad. We'll be fine. Dream and Sapnap just went out for blaze rods, I'll take care of the farm. But you are staying here. In bed. Until you can stand properly." He said firmly. Bad didn't have much of a choice but to comply, so he begrudgingly agreed and got more comfortable.

George got up and exited, closing the door gently behind him and leaving him to his thoughts. What was that? The dream, or how he suddenly went out cold despite being perfectly fine in the morning? Was it all connected, or? It perplexed him, none of it added up or made sense. So why?

"Confused?" A voice asked. It was hard to describe, it was like his own but deeper, colder. Like some kind of alter ego that only he could hear. Was he really going insane? To the point where he was hearing voices in his head?

"You aren't. I'm completely real, just hidden away in your mind. Don't you remember me~?" It asked with a sickly sweetness. The kind that made your teeth hurt and your chest feel heavy. He shook his head, but was unable to ignore this new character- person- creature, whatever it was. No matter how hard he tried.

Who are you? He thought, assuming that they were communicating via his thoughts rather than his words. That would be very difficult to explain to the people he lived with, especially considering how absurd it sounded now that he thought about it. He lay down properly, turning on his side and pulling his blanket up to his chin as he waited for a response.

"I think it'd be easier to just show you." It replied. "And for the sake of convenience, you can call me Void." He felt all air leave his lungs at once. He gasped, out of instinct, before his vision blackened again.

He was standing in a clearing. One that was oddly familiar. It had to be an old memory, because his house wasn't there, nor was the grass path that lead to Dream's house that was a few blocks away. Bad was once again spectating in his mind, watching as a younger version of himself walked with a limp. Ah! He remembered now. This was when he was around eighteen. His family was attacked by a handful of griefers that had raided their home. He was fortunate to walk out with only a broken leg.

The clearing, though, was confusing him. He watched himself (which felt very odd) march to the middle with redstone, gold and a sword in his inventory. He kneeled down in the grass, fingers shaking as he began to trace a large circle with the redstone. Followed by a pentagram in the middle. He set gold blocks on the corners before stepping into the middle. Without fear,

He drew the sword out and pressed the blade against his palm before yanking it back, blood splattering across the redstone as the air went cold.

"Blood for the blood god." He whispered. And suddenly, he could recall what exactly he had done. And the grave mistake he had made.

"Rude."

He had read somewhere, in an old leather bound book that looked reasonably suspicious, as if there were dark magic practices inside its pages. He read about a diety of sorts, known as the Blood God. Someone who would do whatever you wanted for you. With a price, of course. He was dumb, and naive, and didn't know what he was getting into when he summoned him. But he asked for his family and friends to be protected, and that he'd give anything for it.

And anything he gave.

In exchange for their safety, he traded his freedom. He was told that, no matter where he was, he'd never be alone. And now he knew why he passed out. 'Void' was finally showing through.

"Mhmmm, you've been suppressing me for too long, Badboyhalo. And for once, I listened. I stayed down, watching. Waiting, and getting stronger. You can't keep me locked away forever, you know. And once I'm free.."

"Not even the blood god will stop me."

He blinked his eyes open. Despite sweating and being under a blanket, he felt cold. What had he done? For a small amount of safety, he had sold himself as some kind of serving vessel for this parasite to grow. And when it did, what was he going to do? It was going to kill him, and his friends. But he couldn't let that happen.

He couldn't let anyone find out. He could not let anyone get hurt.

No matter what.