Everything is Going to be Okay.

why me?

Trying to sleep that night was next to impossible for Joyce she wondered all the many ways she could use her powers with excitement but there was still fear in her mind of what might happen if she couldn't handle it the right way. She tried her best to push those thoughts away for now.
8:30am:
Somehow Joyce managed to sleep that night with out any dreams really. No nightmares. No dreams. Just sleep.
It was definitely what she needed.
Jonathan had breakfast already made for them and El and Will were eating while talking about what they were going to do at Mikes.
Will was the most excited though since it was DnD night but El was still confused on the rules of the game-or the game in general.
"You sure you didn't want to sleep in a little later?" Jonathan asked Joyce with a smile on his face.
"No..um..yea I'm good." She said with a half smile that was convincing enough for Jonathan to not ask further questions.
"Mom el and I are gonna get ready to go to mikes, is there anything you need done before we go?" Will asked. He was constantly asking to help because he wanted Joyce to do as little as possible and he wanted to put on a good example for El since she was still roughly new to their regular routine.
The Byers didn't wake up at sunrise to make triple decker eggo extravaganzas. They woke up at around 8am to eat eggs and toast.
"Oh no that's okay sweetie, you guys just go have fun okay?"
"Alright, we'll be home around 6pm." Will said walking out the door with El by his side.
"Wait wait I thought Jonathan was taking you all?" Joyce asked concerned.
"Oh well we taught El how to ride a bike awhile ago. I just took them the one time because they didn't feel like riding that night." Jonathan answered.
Joyce didn't realize that being away in a stupid hospital made her miss out on an important moment in her new daughters life. I mean sure jts just learning to ride a bike but what else would she miss?
Her thoughts were interrupted by the kids yelling their goodbyes to her and Jonathan and just like that they were gone.
Things were quiet now.
She knew her and Jonathan had a lot to talk about but Joyce wanted to ignore it for now so she figured: why not take a small shift at the store?
Joyce dialed Donald's number and begged for a shift even though she wasn't supposed to be working just yet due to her somewhat delicate condition but with a lot of pestering, he agreed to only a 3 hour shift that started at 5:30pm.
She didn't mind though, she just wanted to stay busy until her thoughts got the best of her.
"Don't say it." Joyce said as she waved a finger a Jonathan.
"Mom you know you're not supposed to be working yet. And after yesterday you shouldn't be out in public at all." He was so concerned she would just blow up because even though Joyce was an expert at keeping her emotions to herself, when they came out at the wrong time it was never a pretty sight.
She sighed. "I know you're worried and you think something bad is gonna happen but I promise I'll be okay. It's only three hours and as soon as my shifts over, I'll be home and we can talk about yesterday. I just can't think about something so crazy right now."
"Okay but that conversation is happening eventually so don't try and talk your way out of it." Jonathan said on his way to his room.
That hurt Joyce a little. Even her son is noticing how she avoids difficult conversations, or choices by just ignoring them for as long as possible.
She couldn't be angry at him though because he was totally right, she did avoid everything that was slightly inconvenient or difficult in her life since the mall incident.
Joyce only avoided these things because she knew the next time she got her hopes up, she'd be crushed again. And well, after she lost the most important person in the world to her..she couldn't comprehend the thought of how broken she'd be again. You can only break something so many times until there's so many pieces, it's pointless to try and fix.
The day went on pretty slowly, all Joyce wanted to do was go to work because she always seemed to be in a better place and by better place, it's just a place where anxiety isn't very strong.
After hours of cleaning to keep her mind busy the clock read, 5:00pm which meant it was finally time for her to get ready for work.
"Finally." She whispered to herself.
Back at the Wheelers the kids were all watching The Thing after 5 hours of DnD.
El was sitting next to Mike while Max and Lucas were sitting on the floor closest to the tv.
"Guys come on we can't see." Dustin complained.
"That's the 4th time you've said that.." Max said rolling her eyes.
"Well clearly you still haven't moved on the account of me saying it four consecutive times in the last half hour!" He yelled.
"Guys shut up this is the good part!" Lucas yelled turning up the volume.
"What do you mean? They're all good parts!" Mike said annoyed.
They all started to talk and argue at the same time growing louder and louder.
"Okay! Okay! Everyone be quiet or I shut it off." Mike yelled.
"Alright fine whatever." Lucas said back.
Back at Melvalds, Joyce had arrived 15 minutes early just so she could be there longer.
There weren't too many people there just a few customers here and there.
It was now 7:00pm and she noticed she had about a half an hour left and took a mini break.
She walked to the break room and got a bag of potato chips from the vending machine and sat at the table.
Time was going by way too fast for her, she didn't want to deal with these stupid powers. She couldn't help but think, "why me?"
The 30mins shot by and Donald told her her shift was over and she had to go home because if it was up to her she'd work all night if that meant she'd be anywhere else than the house.
Joyce arrived home at around 9:00pm and Jonathan and El were still up listening to music in his room. Will however was passed out on the couch dead to the world.
Joyce asked for Jonathan's help with "groceries" and he promised El he'd make her a mix tape tomorrow since she loved his music.
They headed for the backyard as she did the other day but this time she wasn't alone, she had Jonathan.
"Okay just try something small..like just jump to the other side of the yard or something I don't understand how this works."
She tried that already before.
But this was different. She wasn't alone and she had someone there to help her or at least try to. Joyce took a deep breath, in and out, and she opened her eyes and was on the other side. She did it!
"Okay now try coming back, but remember don't get too excited but stay calm." Jonathan said from the opposite end.
Joyce nodded and then she was back! It wasn't so bad now.
"I did it!" She said walking towards him happily ready to embrace him.
"Thank you thank you." She said so grateful.
"Um you're welcome?" Said a deep voice that was not her sons.
All the color drained from her face. How could she be back again?
Hopper stood there confused he was getting ready to turn the key with her. Just like in her nightmares and reality, the terminator like Russian knocked him out and was coming for her.
"No no no no no..." she curled into a ball and waited for the terrible memory to end until she was laying in her backyard with a few familiar faces surrounding her.
"Mom mom are okay?? Are you hurt??" A worried Jonathan continuously asked her.
"Yea I'm okay I just need a minute..alone."
Joyce had tried so hard. Why couldn't she get it right? These stupid powers that were somehow connected to her emotions were just another reminder of how emotionally unstable she was.
Why walking away El noticed a red streak from Joyce's nose and was growing increasingly curious.
Joyce sat there for a few minutes gathering her thoughts with her head in her hands when she heard footsteps approaching.
"I saw." El said quietly.
"What? Saw what?" Joyce asked
"The blood."
"Oh no I just hit my nose off the porch and it really hurt, that's why I'm upset."
"No." She knew.
Joyce looked at her confused as she starred at her.
"You can do things. And I can help."