My Inner Workings

Ocean

Why should I feel not at home in my own home?
Why should I feel judged and ridiculed?
Why should I feel naked when I'm fully clothed?
Don't I deserve to feel at peace behind these fences?
Shouldn't my pillows be a solace?

It's been 18 years
Are you seriously telling me you're not over it?
Are you still not used to seeing it like that?
Does it still surprise you?
Is that why u still look at it as though it's another entity?
Is it because you're thinking of what u could've done differently to avoid it?
Is that why you stare?

And u wander, where that loud little girl went
Well let me tell you
She didn't know the real reason why
Why u were staring
Why u were whispering
Why u were laughing
Why u were talking so loudly about her
But one day she found out

So she put on longer pants
And longer shirts
And baggy coats
Layers and layers of fabric
Piles and piles of clothes to hide her
And they swallowed her whole
She found herself lost amidst miles of skin that wasn't hers
She drowned in an ocean of garmets
An ocean of your own making

So ask me where she went
I'll tell you where to find her
I can't promise you'll find her alive tho
But breathing or not, I promise you will find her
You'll find her in the depth of that ocean floor.