Affinity

Chapter Ten

Training the next day was somewhat easy, mainly just practicing with your lightsaber. The more and more you practiced, the more you became one with it. The power you felt while yielding it was intoxicating, and while that excited you, it also terrified you.

You worked on trying to shield your mind from Kylo, to not allow him to see the fear gripping you like a vice. Your mind was racing, partly out of fear for yourself but mostly out of fear that you were going to have to hurt people, kill people. That wasn't you, at least it wasn't the old you.

Kylo finally called the training earlier than normal to prepare for tomorrow. His dark amber eyes watched you closer today. You felt his stare track every movement you made. You could feel him trying to work his way into your head. Not making eye contact with him and the feeling of needing to escape his stare growing, you quickly grab your bag and make your way to the door.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night." You rush out the door and see both Vicrul and Usher standing guard and falling in line behind you. Vicrul reaches out and slips the small bag containing your lightsaber and extra clothes off your shoulder and carries it for you.

Once on the elevator, you felt like you could finally relax your mind. Kylo is far enough away. He can't hear me anymore. Your little duo walks you down the long hall, and they safely deposit you in your room.

Taking a deep breath, you throw your bag on the couch and roll your shoulders, trying to loosen the tension. Toeing off your black training shoes and leaving them in a messy pile by the hatch, you make your way to the kitchen and grab a bottle of wine. Not bothering with a corkscrew, you use the Force to pop the cork. I love doing that, you smirk slightly to yourself.

You take a sip straight out of the bottle, the cool, crisp liquid washes over your tongue. Grabbing the bottle and peeling your clothes off, you leave a trail from the hallway into the refresher and turn on the bathwater. Taking another sip while you open a cabinet that contained different oils. Your fingers lightly brush against the small glass bottles, and you pick the lavender scented one, adding that to the steaming water.

Taking another generous gulp of wine, you dip your toe into the water. The heat stings but is bearable, so you lower yourself into the deep tub. Your arms are on either side of the ledge with the wine bottle dangling in one hand.

You inhale the soothing scent of lavender, letting it wash over you and try to relax. Whatever happens tomorrow, I'll be okay. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Taking another gulp of wine and setting the bottle on the floor, you submerge yourself underwater wholly. A sense of peace washing over you as the water covers. A part of you wishes you could just stay there, mind clear and at peace.

Using your feet, you push on the end of the tub and lift yourself out of the water. Using your hands, you rub your eyes, and your surroundings come back into focus. Sighing, you grab the wine again and take a drink.

After a while, the water starts to turn cold, so get out and dry yourself off. Grabbing the almost empty wine bottle, you make your way into the closet to slip on a nightgown and matching panties. This one is a deep blood red satin and falls about midway on your thighs.

Head fuzzy from the wine, you make your way back out into your room and crawl under the covers, trying to will yourself to sleep. The softness of your bed and the wine do nothing to calm your mind.

Tossing and turning, you try to find a comfortable position when you hear the hatch to your quarter open—distinct heavy footsteps making their way closer and closer to your bedroom. Your heart starts to pick up, beating faster in anticipation of who belongs to the footsteps.