Temptations

8: Broken Bottle

        We all got on stage and, to my surprise, the show went smoothly for the first time in what seemed like months. The whole time we were on stage my stomach felt weird. I did my best to ignore it and I succeeded but by the time we were done with the show it was starting to get worse. I decided I probably just needed to get something to drink. 

        Frank began walking over towards me. "Hey Gee, good show. Im glad you seem to be feeling better." I shrugged and nodded my head in response. Frank frowned slightly. I guess he was hoping for a verbal response. I have to admit I havent been doing well with actually talking lately. 

        "Thanks, you did well too. Good job not running into anyone this time." I said with a half hearted laugh. It made Frank smile. I could tell he wanted to say something but apparently he decided not to. He just let the smile slowly fade from his lips as he walked away. I watched him leave and walk out the back door of the venue. I wanted to go after him but my feet stayed where they were. I sighed and turned around. I went over to the drinks table and grabbed a bottle of gin. I brought the bottle slowly up to my lips. The burning liquid felt refreshing as it made its way down my throat. It instantly relieved the pain I had felt in my stomach from earlier. I leaned my back up against the wall and closed my eyes. Thats when Mikey walked over to me. 

        I suddenly felt the bottle ripped from my grasp. I opened my eyes and stepped away from the wall to see what had happened. Mikey was standing in front of me with the bottle in his hands. I have never seen him so upset. HIs face was red with anger and his eyes were shiny  with tears. 

"Mikey? What's wrong?" I asked quietly as I reached out a hand towards him. "ENOUGH!" He screamed as he quickly threw the bottle at the ground and ran away. I watched as the glass bottle shattered into a thousand pieces that scattered across the floor. I knew that I should have been concerned about Mikey and what brought all this on but all I could think about was how I was the bottle. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the bottle. I was just like that bottle. I was being shattered into a thousand little pieces, threatening to hurt anyone who came too close. I wanted to stay in that moment, staring at the broken pieces scattered on the ground, but I decided to walk away. I should run after Mikey, but I just couldn't. Instead, I turned back towards the bus and started walking. I saw the bus door slam behind Mikey.  I shouldn't be the reason he's upset. I should be the one making his life better. Not harder. 

I turned and started walking away from the bus. Away from the venue and every one else. We had a great show, but why was I feeling so terrible? My pace quickened until I was running. I started running and I didn't stop. I ran through back alleys and empty parking lots with sweat and tears mixing as they ran down my face. Why were there so many tears? Why was I crying and why couldn't I stop? I thought about turning around and running back to Frank but that seemed pointless. All I did was hurt everyone including myself. I can never stop that. All I do is make it worse. I make everything worse. At this point, why not just hurt myself worse. Ruining things is the only thing Im good at so why not completely ruin myself?