Processing The Pain

Freak-out

My freak-out sessions started happening more and more frequently, each time because someone mentions Shido or Akechi. And every single time, I would threaten to hurt or even kill myself.

There were times where I actually did hurt myself, but only when I had the means to. For example, there was one time when I was cutting up vegetables. And the tv in the living room was playing an old interview with everyone's favorite detective prince.

I freaked out, yelling for someone to turn the tv off. Silence fell upon the whole house, but the words kept repeating in my head. I kept screaming shut up, shut up, shut up. I grabbed the knife and pointed it at my neck. By that time, Sojiro was already trying to calm me down. I couldn't hear him though, only the false words from the tv.

Sojiro had grabbed my hand with the knife in it, trying to pull it out of my grasp. I was stronger than him, and I stabbed the knife into the side of my throat.

I woke in the hospital a few hours later. And from that point on, Sojiro, Futaba, and the others kept a closer eye on me. They hardly left me alone anymore.

The only time I had to myself was when I fell asleep. I had been going to the velvet room almost every night, and every night I would work closer to defeating the false velvet room master.

By Christmas, I finally beat that bastard, but he failed on his promise of bringing back my Goro. So I killed him too.