Until the End | SB19 Sejun [SB19 Series Prequel]

13

June 2018 

Sejun's POV

Her sweet message greeted me when I woke up. Today was our first anniversary, which was a milestone for me since I never even celebrated an anniversary before. Gab had celebrated anniversaries before. I tried so hard not to be jealous about it. After all, I'll be her last.

Since it was our first anniversary, I wanted to take her out to dinner tonight. But she was on 36-hour duty at the hospital, which meant she won't be available until tomorrow night. I wanted to whine. I really wanted to be with her. But I knew what I was getting myself into when I entered this relationship. I knew that I would have to understand her crazy work schedule.

"You knew what you were getting yourself into," she told me once when I commented about her work schedules and how we rarely go on dates anymore. I had meekly replied, "Yes."

I did know the consequences of her going into residency training. I had known that her time for me would be getting less. That doesn't mean that she loves me less. Besides, she makes it up to me by sending me selfies once she's able to sit down.

I appreciate everything that Gab does for me. It's just that, I really want to be with her today. On our anniversary.

But then, we can't have everything in life. Things always don't go the way we want them to.

So, I trudged on to practice – a little sad that her being on duty meant that I would buy her food and probably get to see her for 10-15 minutes if she's not busy. Sometimes I wish that she did not work that long. 36 hours? How does she cope with that? If I would have no sleep for 36 hours, I would be cranky. I would have no patience to even talk to other people.

It's a wonder how Gab still was able to function, still able to take care of patients. But she was called to do it. She was called to be a doctor and I respect that. I just wish that she would not overdo it. Less sleep makes one vulnerable to illnesses. I would not want Gab to be sick.

Which reminds me, I need to buy her vitamins.

I wanted to listen to music before practice starts. I was hoping that I could write a song for Gab. I was not able to begin writing her song yet which was weird since I feel like there are so many things to write about. We were a couple for a year now. We have been through so much together. I could write a book about how I feel for her.

But I could not write a song about Gab.

I was stumped.

Not that I'm uninspired. Gab alone was enough reason for inspiration. It's just that, I was not able to find the right words and the right melody yet for the song. The rest of SB19 called me a perfectionist. No matter how many times I try to reiterate that the song for Gab has to be perfect, it has to be right, because she is the right one for me, they just don't get it. They don't get why I was so obsessed with finding the right melody. Or the right lyrics.