Hate or Love

0.11

Confession

Approximately around 9 pm, I arrived at our building. I hope the other 3 won't scold me for it.

They're really over protective sometimes. Opening the door I was greeted with the sight of them seated across the living room sofa.

"Where did you go?" Mica

"Why are you back so late?" Mav

"Don't tell me you mop around again," Liza

Wishing for them to stay quiet about this is a wishful thinking. O sighed taking off my shoes before sauntering my way to them.

"Just went out a little I guess. I was with Ate Mai Den, you don't have to worry about me Guys."

I took a sit beside Liza on the L shape couch while Mavie is on the floor eating chips and Mica alone on the single sofa.

"By the way, Have you contacted Zyrex Mica?" She spare me a single glance before returning her haze on the television.

"Yeah. He's infuriating as usual." I chuckle a little seeing her scrunch her nose in a mild annoyance.

We fell silent after that just focused on the playung drama on the television until I broke down that silent.

"I'm confessing to Ry." My single sentence tear away their attention away from the tv and focused on me.

"Say what?!" Mavie shouts, I had my hand on my ear wishing for it to be left undamage because of her annoying ass.

I can't help rolling my eyes. Is it a big deal for her to react like that?

"It sure is bruh, You've got that feelings for over a year or so. " I look at Mica confuse and there I realized I said it outloud.

"What made you change your mind?" Liza ask scooting over while Mav turn off the tv, silencing the unnecessary noise.

I took a deep breath.

"Well, I just realize that since everything turns out this way anyways, Maybe there's nothing really at stake, I mean. He's been avoiding me anyway, telling him my feelings won't change our interactions that much." I explained.

The three nodded at me, approvingly. I hope everything turns out good.

And so I thought.

::::::

"I love you. I've been inlove with you."

I stare at the guy in front of me. Ryan widened his eye, his mouth turned agape as if he's contemplating what I said. Closing my eyes, i took a deep breath, taking advantage of his silent situation.

"I've been inlove with you back then, since I can remember." Letting a low chuckle I look straight into his eye, it doesn't help that we're alone in this audio room, My heart is literally jumping up and down.

"All those innocent gestures, Kisses, hugs. I long for them, I secretly crave for it. You probably don't know. Am I pathetic?" I ask, preventing the tear from escaping.

I heard him take a sharp intake of breath, when I said it.

"Y- You what?" 

He's still in shock, well it isn't surprising. What's surprising is to found out that your bestfriend is inlove with you for almost 3 years.

"I said, I love you. Not a bestfriend, but a man. I've been ever since. Well, I tried everything in my power to stop it from growing but.. I guess I failed." I gesture myself to him. He look at me and what I see in my his eyes really disappoint me.

I held my tears back, Clutching on my skirt tight. Taking a step back, I let out a slow smile.

"I- I understand. Then, t- take care."

Before the tears spill, I already ran out Fuck. Damn! Dang it! Screw it all!

I knew this would happen, but why does it still hurt?! Why am i still in pain?!

His eyes... it held fear and pain.. I don't know why-- Or what he thinks about it.. but I'm sure, he's done with us. Finally done with us.

Damn! It hurts!

I ran until I can no longer to. And I found myself in the middle of the garden created by the tle club last month.

The wind brought chills down my spine and I knew I need someone to hold onto.

Taking my phone out, i dialed Zyrex. My foundation when I was lost and broken.

A few rings and he answered it.

"Hello Vijie?" I heard a shuffling sound of keys on his background, he must be busy.. but I need someone, I need him.

"I- I.. I need you Zy.. C- Can you come?"

A few silent passed before he answered. I thought he would decline.

"Where are you? I'm coming."