My Ever After

what is this i'm feeling, i just can't explain

Off and Gun were at the living room watching their favorite Netflix series, The Umbrella Academy. Tay came out from his room and sat across the couch silently. The couple was having a good laugh at the scenes when they noticed that Tay was unusually quiet.

Ei Peng, we have been laughing our asses off here for a good one minute and you appear like your mind is elsewhere. Are you okay?

Tay's mind continued to be in the clouds. His eyes blankly staring at nothing.

Gun got up to approach Tay and gave him a soft pat on the lap, Tay, you okay?

Tay was a bit startled, Oh sorry, ahhh, sorry, were you talking to me?

Peng, we've been laughing a blast here already and you're like somewhere else. I was asking you if you're okay? Something wrong?

Tay released a deep breath, no, nothing's wrong. I'm just tired.

Off and Gun shared glances. You can't lie to us Tay, Gun prompted. It's not like we don't know you well. Come on, what's bothering you? You know you can tell us anything.

Tay shook his head and let out another deep sigh. Hmm, really nothing serious. Just thinking about some stuff.

Since when did a person become a stuff? Off raised a brow.

What? Tay grinned. What are you implying? Silly!

Come on Peng, I know what's bothering you. You're thinking about New, right?

What? No, I'm not. Why should I think of him? Duh!

Gun giggled. You know you look cute when you get love defensive? Come on, spit it out. What's on your mind? Or should I rephrase that? Who's on your mind? We are asking as if we don't know who that is, Gun giggled some more.

Gosh you two are making me crazy, Tay hissed. But okay, since I know you won't stop with your theories, uhhm, I don't know how to say it. I don't even know how to start.

Peng, just tell us what's on top of your mind. Sometimes I really wonder how you became a psychologist whenever you appear clueless at how heart talks should go, Off replied.

Okay. It's just that my emotions the past days, or the past weeks... they're just I don't really know how to label them, Tay was appearing anxious.

Do you want me to take out your feelings list guide to help you name those feelings Tay? Gun said softly with a smile.

Tsss, you're making fun of me. Okay, the feelings are just all mixed up. It's like a salad tossed all together.

Off barked a laugh, then let me remind you how much you love salads that're well tossed together...

Yes Tay, Gun quickly added, especially with the perfect dressing.

Tay sighed and showed a faint smile. Am I thinking too much? Am I over analyzing things again?

Off and Gun simultaneously shared a nod. Yes, Peng, as you always do. I'm telling you, just let things be, okay? I know you may have questions arising, but don't let them pull you down now. Just let go of them for the meantime.

Yes Tay, we are not telling you to brush it off completely, Gun reminded. What we want to say here is that, just let yourself be out there. Just enjoy your time with New. Sooner or later, things will get clearer. You'll figure this out. You'll figure your heart out.

Tay nodded. Yeah, it's not that I don't get you either. I guess I am just so conscious about all these. Not that I don't like it. It's more like, some emotions are overwhelming. Emotions I have tried to avoid for quite a time.

Ei Peng, don't be too hard on yourself. It's fine. And I am sure you know that. You're basically asking for assurance here, yeah? So yes we are telling you it's fine. You'll be fine. Just loosen up okay. Like Baby said, just go out there and be free.

Thank you, guys, Tay released a deep breath again. I really appreciate this talk. It's really good to have you around.

Gun approached Tay and gave him a tight hug. Loosen up Tay, I want to see more of that side of you again. And you know what, I started seeing that again when you're around New. Gun hugged Tay even tighter.