Spinning

Chapter 30: Stone's bullsh*t, part I

It wasn't until I watched Stone enter his house that I realized he never expressed any sadness for Angela's death. Our cemetery car conversation could've taken place at a bar, or a bowling alley, or a goddamn Laundromat. Was he not upset? Was he not haunted by his history with her? I stared at his back as he shut his front door. I didn't hear the dogs barking either... where are they?

            The Friday night show loomed over my every action, my every thought during the week. Even my newly formed habit of Friday lunches with Adriano were tainted knowing that in mere hours, I would see Eddie in his primal state again.

            "Jordan?"

            "Hmm?"

            "The ketchup?"

            "What about it?"

            "I said, do you usually put ketchup on your tacos?"

            Fuck. I have the ketchup bottle absentmindedly suspended over my beef taco.         

            "Oh— uh, woops, I thought it was hot sauce." I look between the ketchup and hot sauce bottle, and I might as well have confused a knife and a peacock.

            I've gotten closer to Adriano since Eddie's departure. How could I not? He's tall, muscular, Brazilian... a little too chipper for my taste, and he never seems anything but content. Does he ever get angry? Frustrated? Exuberant? Does he ever feel utterly defeated by this world? Alas, I may never know, if our relationship never extends beyond our work lunches. Should I pursue him? Maybe... He's the closest recreation I can get to the feelings Eddie used to bring me. I imagine it feels like being promised heroin, and given four Advil instead.

            "So, do you have any plans tonight? We could go see that Pink Floyd laser show you've been discussing."

            "No. Er, well, that sounds great but I... I'm going to a concert tonight."

            "Oh, cool. Anyone good?"

            Fuck. Think Jordan, make up a name. Say you forgot. Anything.

            "Uh, yeah. I, uh, well, I..." Shit. I have nothing. Goddamn it. "Yeah, it's that friend of mine you met on Halloween. His band."

            "What type of music? If you need a head banging partner, I'll volunteer myself."

            Hmm, this could be interesting. Stone claims Eddie has moved on... maybe I need to show him I've moved on too? But what about Stone? What if this is some sort of sign that he's ready to try something with me? I guess a little jealousy couldn't hurt...

            "Sure, show starts at 8pm. Start stretching your neck muscles."

            This is the first show where I had to buy a ticket to get in. Buy a goddamn ticket to my friend's goddamn band. Ugh. At least I avoided Jenna at the window. I haven't seen her since that fateful night, and I don't feel like explaining my absence from the backstage entourage. I suppose I could've asked Stone, but how do I explain I need two tickets? And I would pick them up from Jenna...

            I bring Adriano to the middle right, stationed more or less in front of Stone's usual stage position, and far enough back that when Eddie inevitably dives into the crowd, we won't be in his path.

            My outfit for the event was a focal point of concern. I didn't think Eddie would recognize me from the stage, but I didn't want to take any risks. At the same time, I want to look good for Adriano... and Stone... and Eddie if I see him... Goddamn it Jordan, stop spinning your webs of complication. I can't fucking help it...