Stronger for You

Chp. 22 Mistakes

“The worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend.” – Heather Brewer

Chapter Twenty-Two

Jacky’s P.o.V.

I give a small sigh as I wake up. I don’t open my eyes, wanting to savor this. I’m not yet sure how this happened, but I was going to treasure it. He was here, right next to me. Skin against skin, his arms tight around me. My hair was loose from its bun and lay around my shoulders. My face was pressed against his chest, which seemed to have grown a few hairs since the last time I had been with him. They were tickling my nose and I have the urge to giggle. I could feel his breath moving the strands on my forehead, taking me back to my last birthday.

Is this really happening? I can’t recall what happened since I left the broom cupboard. Had he found me in the room? Had I gone back to him? My mood begins to slip as I realize that I will have to obliviate him when he wakes.

It doesn’t matter; I will just take the memory and then obliviate him. After the war, I can give it back. Whether he forgives me or not is beside the point. From what my body was telling me, last night was worth it.

“Ye awake darlin’?” Oh for all that is holy! I silently groan, all happy thoughts fleeing my mind as I register the person who the voice belongs to. I want to be anywhere but this spot. Anywhere. What the hell is Seamus doing here? Feck, feck, and more feck!

I stay still, forcing my obviously deranged and addled brain to remember.

~~Last night~~

“I hate to do it, but I told you so.” I gasp and stop halfway through the door, aware of the tears and snot on my face. Seamus was leaning against the nearest window, in the shadows.

“Shut up.” I snap, so not in the mood for this. I just wanted to train and train and train until my mind couldn’t even remember what a boy was anymore. He steps forward, shocking me by the fact that he was in his robes still, his face angry.

“He hurt you.” I push past him, summoning up sturdy kicking bags and throwing off my robes. I begin punching, feeling only the strain of my muscles and the cracking of my knuckles against the vinyl. “Did he not remember?” I don’t say a thing, mixing in a few roundhouse kicks. “Was he on a date?” I alternate between two kicking bags, making my hits harder, furrowing my brow and biting my lip. “He was with another girl, wasn’t he?” I punch the bag and feel a finger twist sideways. I hiss but pop it back and keep going. “Was she pretty? Blonde and slim? I bet he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Probably already shacking up with her, I’ll bet. I wonder if he even knows your name anymore?”

“Shut up!” I scream at him, turning around and shoving him with all of my might. He slams into another kicking bag, his chest heaving as he glares at me.

“I won’t! For chrissake, this isn’t healthy! Look at you! You’re pathetic, looking after a lost man. He’s a coward, Jacky. He is nothing but a coward and will likely be killed for it before this war is over. His legacy? Being loved by a stupid Gryffindor because she thought he was good. But look at how he’s hurt you? On your year anniversary, not even six months in, he’s shagging another girl. Isn’t that what happened? Isn’t it?” I glare at him, my fists trembling as I fight the urge to take my wand out.

“You don’t know anything, Seamus. You can’t even begin to understand what I feel for him!”

“You are dead to him! He wants nothing more than to move on, Jacky. How big of a surprise is it going to be when he does so when this war is over? What will he want with you, some girl who died to save his pathetic ass in sixth year and then lied to him for who knows how long afterwards?”