the anatomy of love [BxB] COMPLETED

51

The morning sun peeks gently through his blinds. He doesn't want to get up, because that would mean preparing for his flight later this evening, and he just wants to lay here and pretend he's still in high school and all that matters is getting to the soccer field before that old adult league does.

Someone knocks on his door.

"Come in," Jackson says. His mother walks in, her long black hair swept to one side and soft wrinkles framing the edges of her green eyes as she smiles at her son. She's holding a tray with some cut up fruit and yogurt.

"Good morning," she says, and brings the tray onto the bed. "Made you this."

"Thanks, mama." Jackson takes a half of a strawberry and pops it in his mouth. "You're the best mother. You know that, right?"

"I do," Elena says, her eyes sparkling. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Why would you ask that?" Jackson wonders how mothers intuitively sense the very emotions he's buried deepest within himself.

His mom just smiles and pats his arm. "I know you. Something is bothering you. You know you can always talk to me, mijo."

Jackson nods, feeling the desperate urge to cry that only happens when someone you love promises to never desert you, and it's like their heart is bound so tightly within your life that if they were to leave it, everything would unravel.

"I'm just having some boy troubles," Jackson says, trying to be flippant to hide how awkward he feels talking about his love life with his mother. Even though he was lucky enough to have very accepting parents, a small part of him will always feel like he disappointed them, perhaps because for a long time and to this day there are people who believe it. Not to mention the added embarrassment that she's his mother.

"Ah, I see." Jackson's sure Elena does see very well. "Do you love him?"

Jackson blushes and looks away. "Yes," he says very, very softly.

"And does he love you?"

"I think so, yes."

"Then what are you scared of?" Elena asks, playfully pushing his arm. "Are you scared of loving him?"

"Not of loving him, but of losing him," Jackson says honestly.

Elena laughs. "But love comes with that fear, mijo. It would not be love without it." She strokes his hair back from his face, and Jackson closes his eyes.

"After you and dad divorced," Jackson says quietly, "I didn't really believe in love. I thought I would never understand how you could still love him after everything."

"When I met your dad, it was like a knife went through my heart. And it never left. I would never change that, Jackson, not for anything. Love is beautiful, magical. Love is an expression of life, and we must treasure when it comes. Do not let it slip away because of me and your dad, because we are of the few people who risk everything for love."

☆★☆

The apartment is dark when he gets inside. Caleb and Lauren arrive tomorrow morning in order to stay with his family for Shabbat. Jackson goes to his room to start unpacking and get to bed as soon as possible, the flight draining the last strength he had after the raging party at his house ended at four in the morning.

Once his clothes are all back in their drawers, Jackson climbs into bed, taking out his phone for one last scroll through Instagram before he goes to bed.

And right in the middle of the lock screen is a missed call from Wes and a corresponding voicemail, sent during his flight but only popping up on his phone just now. Jackson's fingers spasm to open his phone and hear the voicemail.

"Jackson..." Wes says stiffly, and Jackson smiles without meaning to, just hearing his voice. "It's Wes. Obviously. I don't know why you didn't pick up, but I wish―I wish I was someone who would know...that." Jackson hears Wes move around, like he had to stand up and walk around. "What I'm saying is―what I want to tell you, Jackson, is that I would like to see you, if the offer still stands." Jackson holds his breath. "I want you, Jackson, I..." A pause. "I want us. This. In whatever way you want. I just..." Another pause. "I need you, Jackson. And I need to see you. Call me. Goodnight."

The voicemail ends and Jackson releases his breath in a long sigh, grinning until it hurts. He calls Wes without thinking.

When he picks up, Jackson says immediately, "Yes."

"Yes?" Wes sounds both confused, cautious, and eager.

"To seeing me," Jackson says. "I was on a plane."

"A plane?" He just sounds lost now. Jackson realizes he's speaking in a very random order to everyone that's not himself.

"I didn't answer your call because I was on a plane," Jackson clarifies.

"Oh?"

"I was back home. Have an early practice tomorrow. I should actually get to bed soon," Jackson rambles, over excited but not able to control it.

"Then I can call another―"

"No!" Jackson interrupts, just then realizing how his words could be misinterpreted. "I mean, not yet. First, I want to ask you on a date."

Silence. Then, "When?"

Jackson seriously cannot stop smiling. "Sunday night?"

"Pick you up at six?"

"Yes." Then Jackson hesitates. "Not the hotel."

"Not the hotel," Wes repeats firmly. "Do you have somewhere in mind?"

"Surprise me," Jackson says with his usual charm, and it feels so refreshing to use it that his heart awakens and begins to gallop in his chest.

"That," Wes says in his velvety, cool voice, "I can do."

"Goodnight, Wes," Jackson says, and he's blushing.

"Goodnight, Jackson."

☆★☆

Jackson greets Caleb and Lauren from a seat at the kitchen table as they arrive from the airport, suitcases in hand and those twin happy couple smiles he's begun to be fond of seeing.

"Nice flight?" Jackson asks casually.

"Pretty good, actually," Caleb replies, and looks to Lauren with a starry eyed smile. Lauren returns it with a blush.

"Oh, I just remembered," Jackson says, pretending to laugh at himself. Lauren immediately looks suspicious and Caleb turns to him slightly confused. "I'm going on a date with Wes."

Lauren smiles, looking happy and relieved.

Caleb stands, shocked and frozen, for a solid twenty seconds, before letting out a high pitched scream and then running around jumping ecstatically like Jackson just said he won the lottery.

"He's taking it well?" Jackson says, his voice lilting into an unsure question at the end. Lauren shrugs, watching Caleb fling himself onto the couch with an amused, fond smile.

"Jackson's gonna have a sugar daddy, Jackson's gonna have a sugar daddy, Jackson's gonna have a sugar daddy," Caleb sings. Then he sits up, silent and eyes wide. "I'm gonna be a sugar son-in-law," he says slowly.

"I don't think that's how it works," Jackson says, and then adds, "And he's not my sugar daddy."

"Sugar daddy, sugar daddy, sugar daddy," Caleb continues to sing, getting up and hugging Jackson. "How does it feel to live the life I could only dream about?"

"Please take this child to his bed. He needs a nap," Jackson says to Lauren, who laughs and takes Caleb's hand, who is suddenly very willing to follow Lauren calmly.

"You have to tell me everything, Jackson," Caleb says as they walk to his room. "And I mean everything. Or else."

"All I can say, Caleb, is be careful what you wish for," Jackson says with a smirk, but then Caleb and Lauren disappear into his room and Jackson sighs, his smirk turning into a contented smile.

I want you, Jackson. I want us.

Sunday night could not come faster.