Feign- Consent- Gain

Memories

Human like a shadow or a mist.
Hale today with goals,
Gone tomorrow like a hist,
Never to be called a soul.'
Thought like this and others kept soaring on my emotions, I was really torn in pieces, shattered. I felt no bit of life flowing through my soul. I just wish it could end her. Childhood hood memories returns to me. Days when he'll lift me across his shoulder, and dance around the room with some cradle song. I'll sometimes throw up a tantrum when he's around just to hear him sing. I definitely works most times even when he doesn't seems to be in a good mood. He'll still go out of his way to soothe me. Who will soothe me now? I asked myself. Words of the priest at the cemetery kept reechoing in my head;
'Now you have completed your journey here, you have left this sinful world and gone to a place of rest.'
Why would he complete his journey this early, why so early. I kept weeping profusely as I sat on the couch in the living room. Samuel, Anita and a few relatives had been with our family all day. Now it's getting late, and most relatives are taking there leave. Many of them had been up early for the funeral arrangements, and must return to have some rest after the long day. The priest also had been with us earlier in the day. Now I was left with Samuel and Anita. I motion to him how time flies and the necessity of him being on the way before it's too late, else he may not get home until midnight, but he refused.
'I really don't know how I would leave you in this state of despair, I really just couldn't,' he said as sincerity was writing all over his face.
It was then, I began realized how serious he is about me, he had tried talking me into lifting off my worries. Although I saw some senses in what he said, I just couldn't stop being bothered. My dad had been my fortress and my biggest fan. Not until I decided to embark on journey of real life, which he never deem necessary. I remembered my days on campus, especially a particular event.
I was an active member of the Literary and Debate club, and there is this yearly contest I always wished to participate, but I hadn't been qualify not until my third year. I was greatly delighted to participate in the year, Annual Poetry and Fiction contest. Coincidentally for me also, I was among the ten shortlisted candidates for the final competition, under the Poetry and Spoken word section. We were to perform one of our work in front of judges made up of renown poets and author. Two days earlier, I informed my dad, and he promised to be there. When the event began, I was surprised not to see my dad anywhere near the large lecture theater where the event was to be held.  I immediately put a call through, but the network wasn't permissive. I wondered what happened, if he wouldn't be able to make it, and why he hadn't informed me earlier. I was almost disappointed as I was also frightened by the beautiful performance put up by the earliest performers. I was so relieved when it was my turn to perform and I saw my dad driving in. He rushed to get his sit. I intensionally delayed some seconds for him to settle in which of course made me loose some points. On leaving the podium, I ran towards his sit and he gave me a big hug. I must say just seeing his face was thrill for my all through the competition, and I was really inspired to give my best. When the results was out, I was awarded the first runner-up, definitely the best for a first time contestant. I was really happy, but I had hoped to be the first, which would broken the record of a first time contestant coming up as the winner of the competition in the history of the contest. The winner was a third time participant, year four law student. But I wasn't really sure how my dad felt since I had promised him the first position. When the competition was over we both stroll around the school premises for a while, then I pose it to him how he felt about my position since I didn't come first.
He said, 'from what was announced, you are the first contestant to come in fresher, and get so close to the winner as a second runner-up with 68points, just two points away from the winner. You didn't just win the competition my dear, but you also won my heart. You gave a stunning performance, and I'm promising you that as long as am within the borders of Hexona, I will be at any competition that you decides to involve in.
I was really amazed at his comments that day, and interestingly he did attended some while I was in University. But I can't forget his words, '...you also won my heart.' I also made a promise to my self that day, that I always try to win his heart, but now just when I'm about to win his heart in reality he left me, I only hope he meant what he said in his letter, when he said, he can entrust his future only into my hands. If it were to be true then I guess I have accomplished a measure of success in my endeavor.
While I was still recollecting beautiful memories with my dad, Samuel made a comment which although simple and common had a profound effect on my emotions.
'Your dad's soul will always be with you,' he said briefly as he was about to take his leave.
It was just what I needed to hear, it affected my deepest emotions that I immediately stopped him. Then I stood up and gave him a warm embrace. 'Thank you,' I said calmly as  managed to separate my self from him, only to sink in again into the couch. He smiled as her waved good bye, he also promised to give me a call.
Later that night I continued to remember Samuel's words and even hallucinated seeing my dad. Later when I couldn't get to bed, I picked up my diary to write maybe I could have some poetic words of lullaby. Then I wrote:
Through thick and thin, 
I stand strong.
Through mountain and hills,
I never give up.
I'll keep on trying,
Even when it's eating me up.
I'll be happy
I'll rejoice.
The race is interesting,
But it's not all about fun.
It's a race for life,
And of life of those we live for.
Suddenly I began seeing my pen on the sky, I had just shut off.