Weeping Soul (percy x nico)

Chapter 8

Percy POV

"Percy, wake up." 

Percy ignored the voice, choosing instead to keep sleeping. The voice was probably part of his dream anyways, his cabin door was locked.

"Percy." This time the voice was accompanied by a light touch to his shoulder.

The minute he felt the pressure of what he assumed was a hand, Percy leapt out of bed. Now fully alert with panic on his face. He couldn't help but flashback to all those times he had been attacked, those times he'd been pulled out of sleep by some impending danger. What was it this time? Was it a hellhound? Or perhaps his old "friend" the Minotaur?

It turned out to be neither of these things, and was actually Nico. He was standing awkwardly by his bed, holding a tray full of breakfast items. 

Percy sighed and rubbed his eyes, making sure his sleeves didn't somehow fall down in the process. That'd be a lovely way to start the morning, his friend (was he allowed to call Nico his friend?) finding out just how broken he was. Finding out what he did to himself on occasion. 

Could he even say on occasion anymore? It felt as if he was doing this activity more and more often. Like an addiction. One day you do it, telling yourself it was nice but you didn't need anymore soon. You do it another day, some time later, this time liking it even more. This continues until you can't stop thinking about it. Longing for the next time you could do it.

No, Percy thought, I'm not that bad.

But he knew he was lying to himself.

"How'd you get in here?" Percy asked, trying to distract himself from his racing mind. It was to early to have thoughts.

"Son of Hades, remember? Shadow traveling is a thing. " Nico smiled slightly, seeming more comfortable than he had moments before. "I brought you this." He held out the tray of food.

Percy didn't want to eat, in fact it was one of the last things he wanted to do. But he had broken down in front of Nico yesterday, and he didn't want him worrying about him. He also knew that if he didn't eat, he'd probably pass out. He definitely did not need someone taking him to the Apollo kids.

"Thanks Neeks, you didn't have to bring it all the way here though. I could've gotten it myself." His smile was so fake it hurt, it felt like someone elses skin. Percy couldn't even remember the feeling of a natural smile, he didn't even try to. The only thing he could think about was that fight with Annabeth, it just kept playing over and over in his head. 

He was so tired.

"I was on my way here anyways, I wanted to see how you were doing." Nico set the tray down on his bed, sitting next to it. 

Percy saw that the tray had two pieces of bread, blue oatmeal, and a blue coke. This made a flicker of something ignite inside him. Nico had remembered his favorite way to eat food, and even specifically asked for it. 

Instead of answering Nico, avoiding his questioning eyes, Percy picked up the spoon and slowly chewed on the oatmeal. It took longer than necessary for him to swallow the bite, but in his defense he had to force himself to do it.

"Percy."

"Hmm?"

"How are you doing?" Nico leaned closer to him, his eyes searching.

"I'm feeling a lot better today, thank you." Percy topped the lie off with a tight smile, though he hoped it looked more real than it felt.

Nico looked away, seeming disappointed.

Of course he's disappointed, he's sitting in a room with me.

Percy frowned and felt the oatmeal twist in his stomach. He felt the need to be alone, but he also didn't want to be rude. It wasn't fair of him to be rude to someone who had brought him breakfast. Especially when that someone was Nico, he rarely did kind gestures like that. Not that he wasn't kind, he just had a different way of showing it.

Percy gently set the spoon back onto the tray, only a third of it was eaten and that felt like more than enough.

Apparently Nico didn't agree. "You should eat more than that, Percy."

"Thanks Nico, but I really am full." Percy wasn't lying, he felt like his stomach was going to burst. 

"I'll leave it here in case you change your mind." Nico got up and headed towards the door.

Please don't leave, I really don't want to be alone. I thought I did, but I honestly don't.

Percy felt stupid for these thoughts, why would Nico even want to stay? It wasn't like they were best friends. It wasn't like they often hung out.

It wasn't like Percy was good company.

If Nico wasn't still in the room, he would've cried. He felt like clutching his head and screaming as loud as he could. 

Nico hesitated at the door, turning around to look at Percy. "Get dressed, you're going to spar with me." His voice left no room for argument, and with that he walked out of the door.

Percy sat there, stunned for a moment. He really didn't feel like sparring, he didn't even feel like being awake right now, it was so much work. And why would Nico want to spar with him anyways?

He debated with himself for a while. He could just tell Nico he wasn't feeling good, but then he might take him to the infirmary. He could simply tell Nico he didn't want to, but that was a lie. He wanted to spend time with Nico. He didn't know why, but he did. He just didn't want to do anything at the same time. He felt utterly drained, as if someone had used up all his battery. His feelings were all muddled and he didn't know what was up and what was down.

Percy sighed and drug himself out of bed, walking towards his pile of clothes in the corner of the cabin. Today felt like it was going to be a long one.