[ Lost Love ]

~2~

Amnesia

That's what Bruce told him hours after she had woken up.

She didn't remember her name, didn't remember who she was, and she didn't remember him.

Bruce also told him that no one could tell if she would ever remember again. That maybe this was the way she would have to live for the rest of her life.

Thor had punched a wall in anger. She shouldn't be going through this, especially not if she already went through it once. Bruce had awkward comforted him.

He hadn't been allowed to visit he yet, as every new person she saw made her heartbeat go dangerously high. Thor had never seen her as a scared or anxious, so he could barely believe it.

Now he's pacing outside the door of her room until someone would allow him inside. He couldn't stand not seeing her. It was part of his daily routine and it had been ripped away. Thor understood the reasoning, but he just couldn't believe that she wouldn't remember him.

Days had passed and he hadn't been allowed inside, as if she was carrying some sort of dangerous sickness. Security had been set up near her room, and though he could easily knock them out, he wouldn't try.

He was exhausted, barely slept, barely ate. He just wanted to see his wife, was that too much to ask?

Thor slid down to the floor in defeat. He hugged his legs and leaned against the wall as he listened to all the sounds around him. People passed him, but he wouldn't look up at them.

However, eventually a pair of shoes stopped on front of him. Thor tried to ignore it, but they didn't go away, so he eventually looked up and noticed Bruce's face.

"You can see her," it was all he said before walking away again, undoubtedly continuing his work. He wasn't sure if they let him in because Carol was ready for visitors, or because Thor had just annoyed the shit out of them and they were done with his behavior.

Either way, be immediately stood up and walked over to her door, the guards stepping out of his way as he went inside.

Carol seemed to be awake as she was staring out of the big glass windows opposite to the door. Thor could see her flinch a little at the sound of his footsteps, which were likely unfamiliar to her.

She didn't turn to look at him. Her hands were gripping at the sheets so hard that her knuckles were white. He lingered near the doorway for a moment before taking a few steps towards her.

Still, she refused to look at him.

He watched her as he gently spoke, "hey." Her body seemingly tensed as he talked to her, and she didn't say anything back. "I'm Thor Odinson, your husband..."

She cut him off, "they told me."

Her voice was hoarse and dry, almost as if she had been screaming for hours on end after drinking water with glass shards or something. He walked slightly closer, cautious not to frighten her, and grabbed the bottle of water on the bedside table.

"Drink something," he whispered. She didn't look at his face, but she did look at his hands holding the bottle, and then nodded a bit.

He took the cap of and grabbed one of the straws that were there, and brought it to her lips. As she drank, she closed her eyes, as if she really didn't want to see him. It worried him.

She pulled back quite abrupt and coughed a bit before looking away again.

Thor put the bottle away and asked, "how are you feeling?" She didn't answer for a moment. "Fine."

The worry in him started spiking. It was her answer every time she was mad at him, or something in general. That way she made it clear she didn't want to talk.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes."

His heart sank in his shoes and he sighed, "alright." He didn't want to leave, but she didn't want him around, and he didn't want to force her anything.

She stayed quiet as he turned around and walked out of the room. Tears pricked in his eyes and he hurried out of the medical wing, no one should see him cry.

Carol didn't recognize him, and it stung so badly. Of course, she wasn't responsible for it, and he couldn't blame her. It wasn't her fault.

That didn't mean it didn't hurt. It hurt so bad.

He wanted this to stop, he wants her back. The old her, not this version of her where she does recognize him and maybe even sees him as a threat.

He locked himself in his room, angry and frustrated with everything. It took everything in him not to just break down and destroy everything in there. He wanted to cry, to scream, to break things...

But he had to keep himself together, for her. Carol was most important right now, and he should do everything to help her memory get back.

But what if it won't come back...

No, he couldn't think like that, it would come back, it had to come back. He didn't know what to do if it wouldn't come back.

Life without her was hard, and life with her back might even be harder. But he will go through it, and he will help her, even if it takes years to gain her trust.