[ Lost Love ]

-5-

Thor had stumbled backwards, dropping the notebook. He couldn't believe what he just read, but he knew it was her handwriting.

Why hadn't she told him...

Carol stirred a little in bed, but she remained asleep. He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. If it was true, if he really was the source of her nightmares, he shouldn't bother her, right?

But he couldn't leave her alone either. Thor needed to show her that he wasn't evil, that he wasn't planning on hurting her.

But how?...

What could he do to make her believe him. Photos and videos hadn't worked, maybe she would believe other people. Maybe he could gather some of her friends.

Or maybe...

No, he would trigger her past, upset her, if he would try to contact the rogue Kree that had been her former commander. But she had told him that he was the only person next to Thor who had known her through and through.

Maybe it would help. But it could also only trigger her memories of Hala, making her believe she's Kree. It was a big risk.

He just left the room and closed the door. He had to think about this in private. If he was going to do that, no one could know.

Or perhaps he could find the blue Kree with the bizarre purple eyes and warpaint on his face, maybe that could help? But Thor had no clue where he could find the giant person.

He tries his best to remember the conversation that had happened before Carol had fallen off the building.

"What did you do to me," Carol groaned as she tried to push herself up from the ground.

"I did what Rogg should've done. He was blinded by emotions, so the Supreme Intelligence sent me," the voice of the blue Kree was odd, almost as if it had two different frequencies, as if it were two voice speaking at the same time.

"Why would they send an Accuser, and why you specifically," she collapsed again on the ground and Thor could see the blood trickling down her face.

Thor screamed loudly, but he himself was wounded as well. He tried to crawl over to her, but the Kree stopped him, growling, "not so fast."

"Because I'm the only one fit for this mission, I have no emotional bond to you," the Kree's voice send shivers down Thor's spine.

Carol groaned once again and managed to get to her feet, but she swayed dangerously.

"Give me my powers back, or you'll regret it," she yelled. Thor quickly noticed how dazed she looked.

"Remember, what's given, can be taken away," the Kree didn't really move his face, but he looked quite smug.

Carol, on the other hand, looked very stunned, as if the words the Kree had said were some sort of magic spell and she couldn't move away.

Then it all happened really fast and slow at the same time. The Kree had drawn his weapon, it kind of resembled a hammer, and had shot her square in the chest. It made her stumble back, right over the edge of the building.

A surge of adrenaline had rushed through Thor when it happened, and that's the only reason why he had been able to move away from the Kree.

Maybe he should just tell her truth. It will be her choice to believe it or not. So that's what he was going to do.

A few days later he had taken her to the lake and sat down with her on the shore. She seemed quite relaxed, anf Thor didn't really want to ruin it, but he had to tell her. She deserved to know.

He carefully approached the subject, "Carol?" She looked at him, and nodded her head, indicating she was listening.

"How much do you remember of the accident?" He looked right into her eyes, but noticed it was making her uncomfortable, she he looked back to the water.

She shrugged, "nothing, really. I sometimes have these dreams, which could be about the accident, but I don't know." He noticed from the corner of his eyes she was looking at him, almost insisting. She wanted to know the truth.

So he told her everything that happened. Not only about the accident, but about her life as well. Everything she had once told him, and everything he had experienced with him.

He told so many different stories. He told her about her childhood, about how her brother died, about her parents. Thor knew those had been hard stories, but she deserved to know.

He told her about how she had been kidnapped, and although she knew the story in a way, she still listened.

Occasionally he glanced at her, and the disbelief was evident on her face.

He told her about how they met, about how he fell in love with her but never admitted it at first. About their first kiss, which had been on accident. He told her about their wedding in Asgard, and their wedding on earth, because she had insisted on celebrating it on earth, and he had wanted a traditional Asgardian wedding, because it was his duty as a prince.

She had interrupted him and asked if that made her a princess, and he had told her that she was a princess.

Eventually he told her about the accident, and he could see her shaking hands. He wanted to comfort her by holding her hands, but she pulled back. Carol stood up and ran away. He let her. He shouldn't stop her if she didn't want to hear it. Thor was convinced he had triggered some memories, or that she might've linked one of the dreams to the accident, although he couldn't tell for sure.

He got up as well, quietly walking back to the compound, but using another route as Carol had taken. She needed time to process it all.

Thor needed some time alone, talking about all these memories had worn him out mentally and emotionally. It reminded him of what once had been, and what maybe never would come back.

And it made him angry. He wasn't angry at Carol, it wasn't her fault and she shouldn't be blamed for any of it. He also wasn't angry at himself, because he couldn't have prevented it either. It took him months to finally figure that out, as he had blamed himself all this time for the accident that neither of them could've prevented.

He was just angry, at no one in particular – though the Kree definitely deserved his anger – and that made him sad. He shouldn't be angry about any of this, and he shouldn't mourn the situation, because she was alive. Yes, her memories might be gone, and she might not remember him, but he still loved her. They could make new memories together, if she would allow him.

Nothing was over yet, and he could get through this with the knowledge she was alive. All he wanted from her was a chance to prove himself again, and who knows what could happen then.