[ Lost Love ]

~4~

"What am I?" Carol whispered after she had stopped glowing. She had collapsed due to the energy she had used. Thor had carefully picked her up, cradling her in his arms, and put her down on his bed - their bed.

Her body was shaking with fright and she wouldn't let go of him, which worried Thor. He was exhausted from his bad night rest, and took long to come up with the answer.

"You're human, Carol," he said and looked at her. She didn't look back as she closed her eyes, "I'm not human..."

"You were born human. I'm not lying about that part. However, you had an accident about three decades ago. You were shot down by an alien species called the Kree. You were flying an airplane designed by a Kree, that had an experimental engine."

"You had your big superhero moment as you shot the drive, but got hit by a wave of energy. It gave you your photon powers. The Kree took you to their home planet and removed your memory. They lied to you and pretended as if you were one of them."

"Eventually you found out and left them. You traveled through the universe for years, saving countless planets," Thor said, and he could see her tense.

"You're lying," she whispered. He knew it sounded insane, but it was the truth, whether she chose to believe it or not. Carol let go of him and shifted away.

"I'm telling the truth, love," he said, but he immediately shut his mouth. "Don't call me that!" She yelled and glared at him. Before Thor could do anything, she had gotten up and she was now stalking away from him towards the door.

He didn't stop her. He could mentally face palm as he knew she wasn't comfortable around him whatsoever. She didn't know anything about anyone, let alone herself. And now she was told all these unbelievable things about herself.

She left through the door, but didn't close it, it seemed that she wanted to be out of there as soon as possible.

She seemed so terrified when she had came there, and Thor didn't blame her. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to wake up and suddenly completely glow like a lightbulb.

He had whispered all these soothing things to her, and she had listened, let him hold her, and eventually she had hold him by herself. He wasn't sure if it was because she was scared, or had started to trust him a little bit more.

Either way, he was glad she came to him. Though, now he started wondering if that was because she didn't know anyone else, or just because she felt drawn to him. Maybe he should reintroduce her to the other Avengers.

That night he hadn't slept anymore, instead he had gotten dressed and went to the lake near thr facility. This wasn't the first time he had woken up in the middle of the night, unable to fall asleep as thoughts kept him awake, so he went to the lake everytime, listening to all the sounds as it often was too dark to see much.

He sat down on one of the rocks and closed his eyes. He focused in clearing his mind, filling his head with the sounds of the night. It helped, a bit, but he knew that by the time the sun came, he was already stressed out of his mind again.

He couldn't stop worrying about Carol. And he didn't have much of her past to show her. They rarely took pictures together, and the ones she had seen made her feel uncomfortable.

The idea to contact the Kree had came up in his mind and disappeared as soon as it had come. It would be irresponsible and dangerous to let one of them have contact with her. Even the defect Kree that had been exiled because he chose her side instead of the Empire's side, was too big of a danger to her current state.

When Carol had told Thor about him, he had gotten curious. The man sounded rather emotional, something that was rarely seen in Kree according to her. She had described the man as a proud but arrogant and narcissistic person, which was odd, given he hadn't chosen for himself but for her, otherwise he hadn't been exiled.

She hadn't had contact with him since two decades, after an accidental meeting as they allegedly had walked into each other in a pub on a far away space port. According to her, she had shot his ass off-planet, which - in her case - meant she had likely beaten him up.

Thor quietly chuckled to himself, remembering all the stories she had told him when they had gotten drunk together. This had just been one of many.

Thinking of the stories she had told him, maybe he had a way that he could help her deal with the nightmares she'd undoubtedly have.

When Carol stood on his doorstep again about two weeks after the first time it happened. She was glowing, but this time only her arms were out up, from the elbows down to her hands.

She clearly had attempting to wipe away her tears, but Thor noticed they wouldn't stop coming. He felt awful as he saw her like that. "Come with me," he whispered. Carol had looked st him confused, but eventually nodded and followed him quietly.

When they arrived in the gym, her hands were only glowing. The walk had calmed her down already, or maybe it was his presence.

"Why are we here?" She asked, looking around. Thor noticed how tense she was and whispered, "don't get scared." He slowly approached her from behind, and wrapped his arms around her, gently taking her hands and pressuring them firmly against her chest. She needed to stop glowing because it would wear her out.

"Breathe in," he whispered, simultaneously breathing in deeply, until he heard her do the same. "And breathe out..." He closed his eyes as he exhaled together with her. They stood there together, until the light around her hands had dimmed down.

It felt good to hold her again. He had missed it so much, and would lose his sanity if he hadn't been able to do this. He closed his eyes and savoured this moment as he didn't know if he could ever do this again.

"Why are we here?" She asked again, slightly more demanding this time. Carol pushed his arms away and took a step forward, to put some distance in between then. It stung, but he didn't show it.

"How much do you know about martial arts?" Thor asked, as he looked at the back of her head. She didn't answer, instead, she turned around and looked at him as if he had gone mad. "Martial arts? Fighting? Sparring?" Thor asked, but she cut him off. "I know what martial arts is, why are you asking me?"

"Because you once told me it helped you with your nightmares," his voice bad gotten small and quiet. She almost sounded offended. She didn't remember and he kept forgetting it, and he felt so guilty. Maybe this was a bad idea, and he shouldn't have done this.

"Do you want to beat me up?" She asked it with a slightly trembling voice. Carol looked scared again. She didn't remember how good she was. But he was determined to help her.

He did say anything, he gently grabbed her hand and she let him. He guided her to the middle of the sparring mats. "Do you remember your basic stance?" He whispered, and she clumsily moved in a stance that resembled the basic stance of a Kree. He slightly adjusted her arms until it was right.

He took his basic stance as well, and looked at her. She seemed hesitant, but he didn't think much of it. "Alright, just attack me," he said, smiling softly.

Carol might have a part of her muscle memory, but her movements were big and not with enough power. Looking back, thor realized he should've held back even more, but he hadn't. Anf that's how she had ended up in the floor unconscious.

He had screamed for help. Bruce had been the first one to arrive, instantly checking her. He quickly concluded that everything was alright, though she would likely have some nasty bruising in the morning.

Thor cradled her in his arms as he was carrying her back to her room. He kicked the door open with one foot as he carried her inside. As he gently laid her down on the bed, he accidentally knocked something off her nightstand. He tucked her in before looking at it.

It seemed to be a diary, and he git a little curious. He glanced at the page that had fallen open. Now he wished he hadn't.

He tells me I can trust him. And I try, as he's the only person that talks to me. And every day I realize that it could be true. But then I fall asleep, and nightmares haunt me. And he's in every single one of them...