Grand Duke Cajarte

Chapter 18

Early in the morning, the cool breeze from the North rasp my skin that leaves an entangling feeling of refreshment. It was the smell of a coffee bean that being extracted into a beverage for the workers in the manor. The horses started to whine, from the sound of their cries, I'm guessing that the servants are brushing their mane.

The sky was the usual color blue with puffy white clouds. I stretched my hands, trying my best to reach for the flying birds as they spread their wings and rule the heavens. Somehow, I would like to be like them. The feeling of being free yet seems to be impossible.

I decided to walk a little further of the estate. Where there is no disturbance that may happen while I close my eyes to breathe in the fresh air of the surroundings. Deafening silence as it was, refusing Celine to accompany me was the right choice, indeed.

Thus, I need some time to think and sort the conflictions inside of my head without someone watching me battling my inner voices. I can't just seem to adjust with the unexpected changes of the current household and it leads to me being suffocated. Rather, I need to get ahold of myself.

His sleeping face was peaceful, quite an alluring sight to behold. Laying down beside him was warm as he embraces me inside of his arms. He did spend the night with me after all like he always does and was still asleep when I left him on the bed, only to struggle to be able to slipped away from his intertwine hands around my waist.

Right, I was still wearing my nightgown and was only to grab a thin cloth to cover my bare shoulders. My lips must be paler today compare to the glimpse of my reflection that I took in the mirror earlier and my fingers are starting to tremble. But that doesn't even matter now as I remember something.

The Grand Duke said not to mind his concubine. Still, it was bothering me since last night. Was he believing that I could just turn a blind eye with the woman he suddenly brought? Seriously, I want to slap my cheek until it will become red, hoping that the pain will wake me up from my situation of going insane.

And what about yesterday at the carriage scene? What's with him, offering his hand to the other lady in front of his wife. In fact, I dare to never forget his absence on the day when I arrived here first. Though, I do not hold a grudge against him because I was also relief from that time and was being cautious. Simply, would it even hurt him to give me an excuse?

Reality hits me. As I recall the moment their palm touches against each other that seems like they have their own world. It was a beautiful scenario, as if there was an invisible flower on their background that were blooming around them. Then, my heart was shaken.

It was a feeling that I never encounter and couldn't identify. The only thing that inside of my mind was, wishing that I was supposedly the one who he was helping in stepping down of the carriage. Which I immediately regretted to have such terrifying thoughts.

A noisy flying bee made me snapped out from staring intensively on the rocks of the ground. I was too absorbed to recognize that beyond of the path that I was walking, leads me to the garden. And I appreciated, from afar the breath-taking flowers that can't be compare to anything.

I smiled as the calmness of the beauty soothes me and released me from caging myself. That's right, Madelaine. How could I forget? Aren't I, conquered plenty obstacles during my stay here? Despite the challenges, look how much I've grown to love these lands that I was frightened before. So much time has passed while I was living here that I should have put more focus in it yet, my relationship with the Grand Duke was still the same.

Why do I have to kill the mood with that kind of reasoning? I was already at the brink of recovering my self-esteem, only to destroy it once again. Moreover, it was already broken when a certain someone appeared. I frowned when a lady and her lackeys exited from the arch made of vines.